Buy a Bride
Catharine Roos

In the mid-eighteen hundreds the first waves of Americans began heading west. They were in search of the American dream; their chance to live happily ever after. This first wave of settlers was for the most part, composed of miners looking to strike it rich. They exploited the mineral resources all over the west, wherever gold was found; the most famous places were in California, Colorado, and the Dakotas. The brave and adventurous men streamed over the continent in wagon trains or around it in ships in order to reach the west coast. Towns sprang up around the different places where gold had been found as well as around places for ships to dock.

The next wave of people to head west was the ranchers. They needed land and western land was far cheaper than land in the east. The ever growing cities in the east needed an ever increasing supply of food and the cattle found on the western plains proved a good and profitable solution.

Shortly after the ranchers the farmers came looking for land. The land in the east was worn out from over cultivation, in stark contrast the western land was rich and virtually untouched, not to mention cheaper. The west was a new and promising land with endless possibilities. (Summitt)

Despite the promise and possibilities there were a few minor problems. One such problem was that the vast majority of the settlers were men. "Men from the eastern states, Canada, and Europe often preceded the women, and then found themselves longing for feminine companionship." (Yalom 226) Population imbalances, combined with geographical isolation and physical distance, often made men frantic to find wives from among the few single Anglo women living in their region of the west. Unfortunately, interracial marriages were not looked upon favorably by the population at large, so even men who had taken Indian brides were looking for women of European decent (15) In some places the problem was worse than in others. In the Washington Territory it has been estimated that the ratio of men to women, regardless of marital status, as high as 9:1 and that there were at least two thousand men in the Territory that wished to get married (Holbrook 47).

This problem was not a simple one to remedy. Men who had enough money traveled east and brought back a wife, but the vast majority of the populous did not have the capital needed to make such a journey possible. It was out of this situation that two different solutions came about. The first solution created a group of young women referred to in history as child brides. The second solution which has been romanticized into fairy tales and legends over the course of America's relatively short history is the concept of mail order brides--women who were willing to leave home, family, friends, and "civilization" to go to an untamed country and a man they had never before seen.

What would prompt a woman to even consider this as an option for life? Other than companionship why would a man need a wife? Did the women have any contact with the men they went to meet? If they did have contact with each other how was contact established? How was this idea taken by the public? Was the business entirely honest? How did these women get out west? When they arrives in what was to be their new home how were they received? What did the women find when they arrived with respect to men, country, lifestyle, and living conditions? Did all the women come from the eastern United States and if not where else did they come from? How successful were these arrangements if measured by the number of marriages?

One major reason that men in the Washington Territory needed wives was the Donation of Land Act. This act provided settlers with six hundred and forty acres of land to a man and wife who would agree to stay there and help to settle the new Territory. (Conant 3) If the man was not married then he could not get the land; this created quite a problem. In their desperation to get married, men became betrothed to young girls of thirteen and fourteen. (4) For many young women being promised and married to men old enough to be their fathers was not a positive thing, as the story of one such child bride illustrates. At the age of fourteen, Elvina Apperson Fellows married a man of forty four. In her journal she compares her life and the lives of other child brides like herself to the lives of slaves. Her husband was a drinker and would beat her mercilessly. One time when she was hiding at her mother's home he followed her and tried to shoot her with a pistol, out of shock she fell to the floor; thinking he had killed her he then took his own life. Years later she married again and lived out the rest of her life with a man who loved and respected her. (Yalom 248) While not all stories of child brides are as dramatic as Elvinia's it was not an uncommon practice to marry young girls off as soon as they came of age. Maria Innocent Pico de Avila recalled her school mates being removed from class to return home to prepare for marriage. Not much time passed until she also was chosen to follow that course; she was married by the age of fifteen. (249)

With the men in the west and the women in the east, initiating contact proved to be something of a challenge. The simplest way to initiate this type contact was by placing an advertisement in a newspaper; if a man was placing the add it would run in a newspaper with a fairly large circulation in the east and if the woman was placing the add it would run in a western newspaper. One such add that was placed by a young woman in an Iowa newspaper read:

A young lady residing in one of the small towns of central New York, is desirous of opening a correspondence with some young man in the west, with a view to a matrimonial engagementShe is about twenty four years of age, possesses a good moral character, is not what would be called handsome, has a good disposition, enjoys health, is tolerably well educated, and thoroughly versed in the mysteries of house keeping. (Yalom 227)

Meeting through a matrimonial paper such as this was not uncommon. Elinor Stewart recalls in her journal one evening when their wagon train had camped for the night; camped near them was a young couple. Ms.Stewart later found out that they were a new bride and groom, and that they had never seen each other until the night before. Having met through a matrimonial paper they had been writing for two years. They had met in Green River the night before and were married earlier that day. (Luchetti 113-114) Another way to find a bride was to write to someone trustworthy and have them find a suitable woman and send her out. This practice took place in the United States, but was not limited to the states. Men who had immigrated to America would often write back to their families in the old country and have a bride sent to them. A seventeen year old Swiss immigrant did just that, he sent a letter home with these qualifications; "She would have to be quite strong to care for the cows, pigs, and chickens, and keep house in the log cabin he had built while he would be occupied with man's work." She was found and they exchanged letters for a while. They met on June 4, 1858 when she arrived in the states; they were married the next day. Two years later the happy couple wrote home to their families to announce the birth of their first child. (Yalom 226)

One man in the Washington Territory took a different approach, the mass mobilization of women west. Asa Mercer realized that in the west there was a shortage of women and in the east a shortage of men and decided to do something about it. He made a trip east and was able to talk eleven women into returning with him to the Washington Territory; ten out of the eleven ended up marrying once they arrived there. A year after Mercer returned to the Washington Territory he decided to try the trip again but on a larger scale, he hoped to bring back around seven hundred women, however, due to some very negative comments made by the New York Herald he was only able to bring around one hundred. (Holbrook 92) "According to Mercer the New York Heraldcame out with a story strongly intimating that the five hundred females were being shipped to Seattle for the express purpose of becoming inmates of Puget Sound Brothels." (91) Although there are not detailed records, many settlers later wrote in their journals about how a number of "innovative people shipped women west, much like market goods" (Riley 13).

Public opinion was not really a factor for men writing to women and their traveling out by themselves to get married, but when Asa Mercer decided to raise the stakes it was much more public and newspapers from New York to Seattle all put in their two cents and in some cases much more. Some of the headlines of articles concerning Mr. Mercer's undertaking are quite comical while others are much more cynical; "The Anxious and Aimless", "Hegira of Spinsters", "Wives for the Wifeless", "Cargo of Heifers", "Sewing Machines", "Mercer's Victims", "Consignment of Emigrants", "Cargo of Females", "Female Emigrants", and "Mercer-nary Adventure." (Conant 9) Much to the dismay of the women who accompanied Mercer back to Seattle despite the negative press they were looked on, by at least some of the citizens, as women of questionable repute. (4) They were depicted in cartoons such as this one as desperate old spinsters who would do anything to get a man.

Despite the people's feelings, on their arrival in their new land the women found a variety welcomes. The men were eager to marry, the town's people worried about what they were to do and where they were to stay, but over all they were received well by the communities that they were entering. This was noted by a reporter that was traveling with them; "Mercer and his cargo of femininity were received in a way befitting a royal when they landed at midnight (Holbrook 49).

Unfortunately for many of the people who entrusted Asa Mercer with their future happiness, both male and female, he was not entirely honest. Before he left Seattle for New England the second time he made this contract with some of the men from the Washington Territory: "I, Asa Mercer, of Seattle, Washington Territory, hereby agree to bring a suitable wife, of good moral character and reputation from the east to Seattle on or before September 1865, for each of the parties whose signatures are hereunto attached, they first paying me or my agent the sum of three hundred dollars, with which to pay the passage of said ladies form the East and to compensate me for my trouble" (Holbrook 89). There is nothing wrong with this contract. Where he made mistake was when he was recruiting women to come back to the Territory with him. According to Flora Pearson, "Mr. Mercer pictured in glowing terms the "wonderful financial advantage that would accrue to any and all young ladies of good character"the subject of possible matrimony was not mentioned. (49) There is no complete list of how many men signed this contract or one similar to it, but there were a number of greatly disappointed men when the women arrived and had no intention of getting married to them or anyone else. To say the least this angered many of the men who vowed to repay Mercer for "bringing women that wasn't on the marry" (Conant 130)

While what Mercer did was dishonest, he was not the only one to take advantage of the situation. For most men when they paid the passage for a woman to come west they felt committed to the arrangement. However, the women did not necessarily feel the same way. Regrettably for the men in the west the women would sometimes sell their tickets and never follow through with the arrangement agreed upon. (Riley 14)

How exactly did these courageous women get to their new homes? In the case of Asa mercer's two separate trips, the task was accomplished by ship; the women boarded the ship in a harbor near Boston and a few months and many bouts of seasickness later were set upon dry land in San Francisco and then finally in Seattle. The story is similar, with the exception of the points of departure and arrival for the two large groups of women that arrived in British Columbia from England and the continent of Europe. (Conant 31) Other women took the equally adventurous option of the wagon train. It was a long, dangerous, and trying journey that was an appropriate introduction to the land that was now their home. Along the way they faced sickness, death, extreme exhaustion, and the pain of having to leave behind the pieces of home that they had brought with them.

With respect to men, the women found a wide range of suitors awaiting them. One of the young ladies described the men they found as looking "something like a pack of grizzlies in store clothes" (49). Unfortunately, some of the women had more to complain about than simply looks. One of the women in Mr. Mercer's second party was deceived not only by Mr. Mercer, but by a minister, and the groom as well, about the fact that he was already married. (Conant 111)

The land they found was wild and untamed and many of the women were initially shocked by the inhospitable conditions that awaited them; makeshift housing in covered wagons, tents, lean-tos, shacks, and sod huts; dust storms, torrential rains, cyclones and floods, mud and dirt, grasshoppers, snakes, coyotes, wolves, and bears, not to mention the absence of churches and schools. (Yalom 227) The situation was in many ways reminiscent of the one that the original emigrants to America found. (226)

The women came from many diverse countries and cultures. There were groups that came from England and other places in Europe such as Switzerland, Germany, and the Netherlands. There were the many women that came from the western United States and Canada. Many women also came from the Far East; from countries such as China, Korea, and Japan. (Conant 14)

The Japanese developed a system of mail order brides that was somewhat unique. Japanese men who had immigrated to the United States did not want to take American or "white" brides. The solution to their problem was, when they were ready to marry, to write to their families back in Japan, send a photograph and a statement of what their life was like; home, land, financial status, etc. Their families would then find them brides. The wedding would take place in Japan without the groom. (Hogan 1293) The groom's family would then enter the bride's name into the family registry and send her to her husband. Once they arrived the women had to undergo many medical examinations and immigration inspections. In many cases they also found, much to their dismay, that the men they had married had not been completely honest about their age and financial position. (1294) These women were also shocked to be told on their arrival that they must purchase and ware western clothing, that it was necessary for them to set aside their traditional ways for the more modern and western variety. (1294)

Measuring the success of such ordeals is difficult. In modern society one may look at how many marriages took place and for how long they lasted. When viewed from this perspective it was not an unsuccessful venture; ten out of the eleven women that Mercer originally brought out from Boston married men from Puget Sound. (Holbrook 49) It was because of these results that Mercer decided to attempt this enterprise on a much larger scale. On his second trip west he brought with him around one hundred single women and a few married couples. These women had no trouble finding men to marry if they so desired. Roger Conant recalls one situation:

This morning an old backwoodsman who could neither read nor write, visited Seattle to inspect the party, and to see if he could secure a wife. He was introduced about 3:00 this afternoon to widow W. who brought with her a mother and three interesting sons At six he offered her his heart and hand; was accepted at nine, and just one hour ago they were married (Luchetti 111).

In the three weeks that Mr. Conant was in Seattle after the delivery of women, nineteen marriages were recorded, included in this group was Mr. Asa Mercer himself. Mr. Mercer married a Miss Annie Stephens on July 15. (Holbrook 93)

In order for this institution to have any chance at being effective there has to be willingness on the part of the female. The only reason that the mail order bride system worked was that the women needed it to work. Why would a woman even consider this as a viable choice for life? There were several reasons that women would consider leaving all the comfort and security of their homes and travel west. In the mid eighteen hundreds the main reason that women were willing to risk everything, was that the civil war had killed so many young men. In the New England states alone it is estimated that there were around thirty thousand unattached women, most of which were unemployed because the mills had closed. (Conant 5) The civil war had taken its toll on the north since the south had not been able to supply cotton to the mills they had been forced to close creating a depression and a situation that women, both young and old, were willing to leave. (Holbrook 49) What factors contributed in helping these marriages survive? In many cases the women strived to make the marriages work because once they got out west they could not easily go back from whence they came. Many women did not have the financial means to return east if they did not like the situation that they found; they had left the east because of a financial depression. For those women who had the means with which to return east there was not much to go back to; there would not be men to marry and the economy would not have rebounded from its recession within that time period. And, since opportunities were not absent in the west it was much more profitable for them to stay and stick it out once they arrived. Many women from Mercer's group opened up businesses of their own; Mrs. W started a bakery, Mrs. L opened a laundry, and the Burke sisters tried their hands at millenary work (Burt 127).

The question of pride could also have been a factor; the women who dared to travel west were essentially unable to marry in the east. For a woman to return from the female deprived west still unmarried would not reflect well on that woman's reputation.

The issue of race was also a factor. Women who traveled from countries such as Ireland, Germany, and the Netherlands were used to harsher conditions, so for them adjusting to the demanding lifestyle that was in the west was not as difficult. The women coming from these countries had another factor in their favor; arranged marriages were part of their custom. They did not view marriage in the same light that we do now. Marriage was not a product of love; love was a product of marriage. Because of this, adjusting to the idea of marrying someone unknown was not that difficult (Yalom 228).

One other factor that is worth considering is the type of women that headed west. Regardless of age, race, or financial status these women had to be physically tough. The trip west was anything but easy. If one took a ship, the trip took months and many women turned back. (Conant 87) The Wagon train was no easier. The women who were not able to bear the difficulties that the trip presented either died or turned back before it was too late to go home. In this way the women who were not determined to make it work did not end up in the west. Only the most resolute women arrived in the west and they are the ones who made the scenario possible.

The topic of mail order brides has been used widely in American literature. The concept has been romanticized in many ways, but has still managed to remain rooted in fact. Stories like Sarah Plain and Tall have helped Americans to connect with a piece of their history that does not often come to light. They tell the stories of women who would not be beaten by the situations that they faced, women who could rise above their surroundings and find happiness and peace in the most unlikely of places. Whether these women came from the eastern United States, Australia, England, or other parts of the world their stories are the same. They took a chance, they faced insurmountable odds and they overcame in the name of survival.

Works Cited:

Burt, Olive. Petticoats West. Julian Messner Inc., New York, New York; 1963.

Conant, Roger. Mercer's Belles, a Reporter's Journal. University of Washington Press. Seattle, Washington; 1960.

Hogan, Patricia. "Picture Brides." Encyclopedia of the American West. Vol. 3.

Holbrook, Stewart. "Mercer's Maids For Marriage." Woman's Day. Stores Publishing Corporation. New York; 1948.

Luchetti, Cathy. I Do! Courtship, Love, and Marriage on the American Frontier. Crown Trade Paperbacks. New York; 1996.

Riley, Glenda. Building and Breaking Families in the American West. University of New Mexico Press., Albuquerque, New Mexico; 1996.

Summitt, April. "The West." Andrews University, Berrien Springs, Michigan. 4 February 2002.

Yalom, Marilyn. A History of the Wife. Harper Collins Publishers Inc., New York; 2001.

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