Sonic #122 [June 2003]
     Spaz/Ribeiro cover: And you thought Tails was acting
childish in "Young at Heart" (S114).  The action inside gets a
little more serious.  And to demonstrate just how cheap Archie
Comics is trying to be, they recycle the circle portrait of
Knuckles from last issue, and the one of Julie-Su from the issue
before that.

     Axer/Tomas Weasel Roll Call: let's see, there's Nack and ...
you know, they never do get around to naming any of these
characters.  Let's just call them "Nick," "Nack," "Paddy" and
"Whack."  Now this old man's got a review to write:

     "Hearts Held Hostage: Part 1"
     Story: Karl Bollers; Art: J. Axer; Ink: Conor Tomas [debut];
Color: Jason Jensen; Lettering: Jeff Powell; Editor: Justin
Gabrie; Managing Editor: Victor Gorelick; Editor-in-chief:
Richard Goldwater.

     Continuing the musical theme from last issue's "Song Bird,"
Sonic appears to have been bitten by the music bug and is taking
lessons from Jules on an old six-string acoustic.  Tails asks why
Jules isn't teaching by demonstration; Jules answers that his
robotic fingers aren't "nimble enough."  But, hey, if Sonic can
play while wearing gloves....
     The residents of Knothole must be starved for entertainment
because a crowd gathers around Sonic even though he's still
taking lessons.  Said crowd includes Rosie, Bunnie and Antoine,
Geoff (who's lost the dark glasses but has gone back to wearing
goggles as a fashion statement), the back of Amy Rose's head, and
of course Mina, smitten as ever.
     Back at the castle, Sally is just now taking a break and
leaves without an escort.  Following the music, she finds Sonic
and Mina jamming together and decides to make herself scarce. 
She could use a friend at this point, and Bunnie volunteers. In
the course of a one-page face-to-face, Bunnie suggests that Sally
try the direct approach as a way of gauging Sonic's
intentions/feelings toward her.
     Unfortunately, it's time for MOM [the Menace of the Month]
to check in.  This issue featuring: weasels on hover-cycles.   
While the infamous Nack kisses Sally on the head with the butt of
his sidearm, another weasel body-slams Bunnie against a tree. 
Sonic is able to take a third weasel out of action but while he's
getting Mina out of the line of fire from a fourth weasel, Nack
and the remaining three escape with Sally.
     The weasel-in-custody turns out to be a pretty cool customer
under interrogation; just as well Geoffrey didn't get the job of
questioning him.  Max turns things over to some of the guards;
you can tell they're serious because they're all pumped and have
traded in their Raspberry Berets for Green Machine olive drab
duds.  They're also butt-ugly muthas.  We don't know what they
did to get the information on Sally's whereabouts out of Weasel
#4 but we're meant to think it wasn't any prettier than the
guards.  Sonic takes off to do a little unilateral preemptive
butt-kicking.
     HEAD: Looking back at this story, I'm not surprised that
Nack's three accomplices (Bothers? Relatives?) went unnamed. 
Karl keeps up a pretty stiff pace here and there's really not a 
slack moment in it. Of course, the eleven-page limit might have
something to do with that.  Besides, don't you hate it when
villains stop and declaim all over the place while they're
supposed to be doing their job?
     The characterizations are faultless: Sally and Bunnie are
perfectly portrayed.  If Mina's character is more simple, it's
because she's got lower mileage.  And the nameless 4th weasel is
a VERY inspired creation.  We've become so used to Robotnik being
over the top, echidnas such as Kragok and Dimitri being cold
schemers, and Snively being, well, sniveling that a villain who
doesn't care one way of the other is something of a novelty in
this book.  I got more of a sense of menace from that character
than from most of the villains who have appeared in the comic.
     About the only false note WRT a character was Queen Alicia. 
Romy Chacon did wonders for her in "The Royal Signet,"
transforming her into a Lady with a personality.  Here the most
she's allowed to do is react like a sitcom housewife to Max's
torture (let's be honest and use the t-word, 'kay?) of the weasel
to find out where Sally's been taken.  Made me wonder what Alicia
was capable of doing herself.  If you've seen the theatrical-
length "Tenchi Muyo In Love," you know that at the end Lady
Achika, who is Tenchi Masaki's birth mother from the planet Jurai
and who witnesses Tenchi being kicked around by Kain (even though
Tenchi himself hasn't been born yet; long story), proceeds to
turn Kain into toothpaste.  Whoever wrote that Hell hath no fury
like a woman scorned never met the woman's mother!
     Still, this is a very effective story and a prime example of
how to meld an action-driven and a personality-driven story.  If
Archie can just do this for every story in every issue, the
industry might finally start taking them seriously.  Head Score:
10.
     EYE: Now we know why J. Axer's work doesn't appear very
often in this book: the level of detail in this story is
incredible.  And I'm not just talking about the lovingly-rendered
tree trunks or blades of grass.  There are small touches
throughout that I don't know if Karl scripted: Muttski in the
very first panel gnawing on a twig, for instance.  Amazing stuff. 
Eye Score: 10.
     HEART: It's more than refreshing to see the characters in
this book doing something plausible.  Ever since this misbegotten
triangle plot point was introduced, the situation has cried out
for some honest communication on the part of Sonic, Sally, and
Mina.  "The Crush" was a huge step forward and should have put
the brakes on this development, but if we have to watch the comic
take another run at it, it's good to see the Sally-Bunnie
interplay put things in perspective.
     Every now and then, something happens in this comic that
reminds me not only that I'm way older than the fans (including
the teen and early-20s demographic) but that my head is in a
different place from those who produce the comic.  That happened
in this story when King Max resorted to crude physical violence
executed by the guards to get the information out of Weasel #4.
     Just as I had a HUGE problem with the formation of Neo-
Knothole in S94's "New Order" and the subsequent abandonment of
Robotropolis to Robotnik (a city that would end up being
evaporated by nuclear weapons a little over a year later in
S110's "Station Square Attacks!"), so I had a problem with Max
torturing someone to keep the plot going.  Granted it works in
the context of the story, and granted that it's more "realistic"
than some other means of getting the same information.  
     That's probably my trouble, though.  On one level, I want
this comic to be escapist literature as much as anyone else.  But
for me that means the possibility of power not corrupting, of Max
possibly having learned something from being paralyzed and acting
a bit more ... noble.  As I mentioned earlier, that's what I
admired about Romy Chacon's retrofit of Queen Alicia; Romy made
her out to BE a queen, with all the positive connotations that it
carries over from the fairy tale archetype.
     But I've read Ken's message board and the fan expressions
that Max's actions rocked!  So be it.  I'm too much of an old
hippie to ever feel the way the fans do on this subject, and I'm
not going to dock Karl points over it.  It's just the way I feel,
and I had to say it.  Heart Score: 10.

     "Afterlife: Part 2"
     Story: Ken Penders; Art: Art Mawhinney; Ink: Ken Penders;
Color: J. Jensen; Lettering: Vickie Williams; Editor: Justin
Gabrie.
     Ken begins by stating that "Everyone on the Floating Island
believes that Knuckles the Echidna has died."  Wonder what gave
them THAT idea: the not breathing?  The heart going on vacation? 
The body being at room temperature?  The blood pressure being
0/0?
     Anyway, Knuckles isn't exactly in a state of bliss as he
migrates toward the light.  Not only can't the Chao cherubs seem
to hear him, they're incorporeal as well.  The Chao disappear,
the lights come up more than they already have, and Knuckles is
introduced to Aurora, who happens to look like ... a bubblegum-
pink echidna wearing a white robe.  She explains that she's with
the Force; obviously NOT the dark side, either.
     We then get a flashback from "Childhood's End" which
appeared in Knuckles #25.  For the benefit of those who never had
a chance to read that story, a group that becomes larger with
every issue, Locke dreams of the end of the world accomplished by
a Robotnik Action Figure and prevented by Knuckles wearing
Hawking's hat.  She then reminds Knuckles, who's heard this story
already, of how when Knux was still in ovo he was subjected to
Chaos energy without Lara-Le's knowledge.  Despite the picture of
happy domesticity surrounding Knuckles's cradle days that Aurora
presents, it was Locke's insistence that he knew what was best
for the Guardian-to-be that eventually pushed their marriage onto
the rocks.  Locke then took Knuckles to the Floating Island; that
way he didn't have to pay child support.
     HEAD: I'm STILL waiting for echidna heaven to actually get
heavenly, in the sense that we get the feeling of "Yeah, I
wouldn't mind some of that."  Right now it's all pretty vague.
     Aurora's line about how all species "see how they imagine
me" reminds me of a cartoon I saw once in a magazine.  It shows a
woodland scene with a bunch of animals, each with a thought
balloon.  The moose is thinking "And God created moose in His own
image," the bird is thinking "And God created bird in His own
image," the frog is thinking ... you get the idea.  Same thing
here, apparently.
     Yet Aurora doesn't FEEL like a deity, certainly not to
Knuckles who doesn't even begin to regard her as one.  It's not
that I expected Ken Penders to have read Bishop Otto's famous (in
theological circles, anyway) book, "The Holy," but if you're
going to confront a deity there has to be a sense of
transcendence, of awe, of something so overwhelmingly majestic 
that words fail.  Kenneth Grahame achieved it with the "Piper at
the Gates of Dawn" chapter of "Wind in the Willows."  Tolkien
gave us that when Frodo met Galadriel ... and she was an elf! 
Aurora doesn't even come off as a Beatrice to Knuckles's Dante,
let alone as a goddess (Note to the older fans: if you graduate
from college and still don't understand the Beatrice reference
above, ask for your money back).
     What Aurora turns out to be is the reincarnation of Nate
Morgan, since her primary duty in this story is to go into
exposition mode for the benefit of the readers who need to know
what's going on.  Knuckles certainly doesn't need the
enlightenment, having heard this all before from Locke himself. 
And so we persevere; maybe things will pick up in the next
installment.  Head Score: 6.
     EYE: Art Mawhinney DOES make Aurora look good, and the
scenes of Locke and Lara-Le suggest that they may actually have
been happy in each other's company at one point.  And selling
THAT notion takes real skill.  Eye Score: 10.
     HEART: Aurora's story about Knuckles's parents is actually
version 2.0 because Ken fails to mention what brought them
together in the first place: the biological imperative known as
the Soultouch.
     As explained in K11's "Covenant: Part 2," the Soultouch
exists to make sure there's always a Guardian waiting in the
wings since it's an hereditary office.  That means that the
primary objective is mating and producing an offspring, after
which the Soultouch does the "Well, my work here is done" routine
and the marriage stands a good chance of winding up in the
dumpster, as Locke and Lara-Le have demonstrated.  I always
thought that had something to do with the Brotherhood's abysmal
social skills.
     So the Soultouch gets dropped down the memory hole here,
either because Ken forgot about it or because he wishes he'd
never thought of it in the first place.  Either way, it's more of
a complicating factor at this point, along with the Day of Fury. 
Remember the Day of Fury?
     Watching the negative impact on Locke and Lara-Le's marriage
is about the only emotional hook in this story and Knuckles can't
even seem to connect with that.  Then again, it IS old news. 
Heart Score: 4.

     "When There Was Only One Guardian"
     Story: Ken Penders; Art: Dawn Best; Ink: Ken Penders; Color:
Jensen; Lettering: Vickie Williams; Editor: Justin Gabrie.
     In visiting Knuckles's former residence, Julie-Su discovers
Knuckles's library ... both books.  Trust me, anyone who "likes
to read" is going to have way more than two books.  Maybe there's
a third one being obscured by the story title, I can't tell.  As
she examines Knuckles's worldly possessions, Vector comes in. 
His entrance line pretty much sets the tone for his part: "What
chu' think you're doin' inside the man's crib?!!"  Before Julie-
Su can get in his face, Vector blasts her with his headphones;
must have had them turned up to eleven.  She replies in kind by
introducing Vector's head to her size eleven boot.  Having given
each other the customary beating, this is the cue for another
flashback: Basically, Knuckles trips over Vector, Vector punches
Knuckles, Knuckles punches Vector, and then to lighten the mood a
bird poops on Vector's head.  This flashback produces such a
warm, fuzzy feeling that Vector and Julie-Su call a truce for the
sake of the dearly departed.
     HEAD: Once more, we get a fairly trivial flashback to
Knuckles's past.  Just as S120's "Those Were The Days" featured a
Mighty/Knuckles/Vector flashback which really didn't establish
anything new or interesting about any of the characters, so this
latest flashback doesn't accomplish much, either.  In the former,
the pivotal moment was when Vector crashed his gyrocopter into
the Floating Island.  Here, the pivotal moment is when Catweazle
takes a dump on Vector.  Sorry, Ken, but I don't like bathroom
humor any more than I like torture.  Maybe I AM getting too old
for this.
     The Julie-Su/Vector grudge match was more interesting and
book-ended the flashback.  Perhaps if Ken had stayed with that
this story could have been redeemed; as it is, the flashback ends
up feeling like an interruption.  Head Score: 5.
     EYE: Best visual moment in the story: right after Julie-Su
flattens Vector with a boot to the head, she takes a moment to
straighten her hair.  That says LOADS about her character and is
the perfect gesture for the moment.  Eye Score: 9.
     HEART: Again, if the reconciliation, or at least the cease-
fire, of Vector and Julie-Su was the end-point of this story, the
flashback that prompts it had to be exceptional.  And let's be
honest here: it just didn't work that well.  OK, Knuckles's
gesture toward Vector after the throwing of the punches was a
good foreshadowing of the ending, but throwing Catweazle into
this story was the WORST thing Ken could have done.  Heart Score:
5.

     Off-Panel: Justin Gabrie as a bobble-head ... nah, too easy.
     This Justin: Justin flogs S124 and 125, the latter featuring
a message from Yuji Naka.
     Sonic-Grams: Laurie gives a shout-out from Glasgow, Jonathan
Lee comments from Seoul, Blade checks in from the UK, and Dr.
Cheis (origin unknown) needs some editing down.  For a comic
that's supposedly "available in the US and Canada only," this
book gets around!
     Fan Art: George O'Connell does a tribute to Ron Lim (I
recognize that doggy-face Tails anywhere), Josh Rawlings does a
Sonic profile, Anthony Kitchens submits what looks like a drawing
of Shadow taking part in a dinosaur rodeo, and Craig Strout gives
us a Sonic who's been spending all his spare time in the gym
working on his definition instead of taking guitar lessons from
Dad.