Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, moms and dads, animals and vegetables and minerals, you didn't ask for it but here it is anyway: DANIEL J. DRAZEN'S 1996 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG BEST/WORST LIST Yes, I've taken some skips and short hops over the following titles, all of which were available during calendar year 1996: Sonic the Hedgehog #33-#44 inclusive Super Sonic v. Hyper Knuckles Special Sonic and Knuckles: Mecha Madness Special Rites of Passage [Knuckles 3-Issue Miniseries] Sonic Live! SonicQuest: The Death Egg Saga [3-Issue Miniseries] Remember, this is all IMHO; you can to agree or disagree or even post your own list. Hey, it's a free country. And so, without further ado: BEST SINGLE ISSUE STORY: "Fathers and Sons," [Super Sonic v. Hyper Knuckles Special] It's a good thing Knuckles is getting his own spinoff line because he earned it in 1996. And one of the strongest reasons for earning it was this gem of a story by Mike Kanterovich and Ken Penders. This wasn't just another excuse for Knuckles to try and punch someone out (usually Sonic). It successfully made the necessary transitions between dialogue and monologue, between past and present. It also gave us a Knuckles who connects the loss of the Chaotix with the loss of his father -- two situations which would be resolved (somewhat) in the "Rites of Passage" miniseries. By story's end Knuckles was more of a character in his own right with a definite past and just enough emotional baggage so that the reader could relate to him. Knuckles definitely turned the corner in this story and we have Mike and Ken to thank for it. WORST SINGLE ISSUE STORY: "Bedtime Tails" [Mike Kanterovich and Ken Penders; Sonic #38] Yes, it was a tough call. There were other stories that were weak and misdirected, such as "Sonic Shot" [Sonic #33] and "Eel Of Fortune" [Mecha Madness Special], but "Bedtime Tails" deserves a special place of dishonor. Ken has since admitted that he and Mike had written this story well over a year before, around the time of Sonic #19, and that it had been shelved until #38. Sorry, but it just didn't get any fresher in the meantime. The story-within-a-story is a direct goof on the Marvel Comics of like about 20 years ago -- a fact that would have been instantly lost on the core audience of preadolescent boys. But while Mike and Ken can be forgiven for borrowing ideas from the Stan Lee stable, what was truly unforgivable was their inability to do anything with the stolen goods. We've got the freedom fighters dressed like the Fantastic Four but not ACTING like them. Watching Rotor hulk out or Sally get invisible would have cemented the conceit and possibly saved the story. With a little more thought, perhaps it could have been retooled and made to work as a full-fledged PARODY of the Marvel books. Instead, it comes off like a bad imitation, with the look and feel of a throwaway, right down to the two pages given over to the "cover art" of the comic books mentioned in the story. Somewhere in this mess was either a great story in its own right--"How would Sonic handle it if he stood a chance of being upstaged by super-powered freedom fighters?"--or a devastating parody of the spandex-and-muscle books with which Sonic has to compete (a concept implied in the "Tails To Astonish" comics that formed part of the 1995 Tails miniseries "Southern Crossover"). The sheer waste of opportunity finally qualifies "Bedtime Tails" for this dubious achievement. BEST MULTIPLE ISSUE STORY OR MINISERIES: "Rites of Passage" [Knuckles miniseries] Ken and Mike had a hard task ahead of them: deal not only with Knuckles but also a formidable foe in the person of Enerjak (the former Dimitri). They succeeded in keeping everything on track without losing the reader, even managing to use Art Mawhinney's artwork in a running "split-screen" device to good effect. And the partnership of Knuckles with Archimedes has set up an excellent buddy-buddy situation, more of a peer relationship than that between Sonic and Tails. What's even more amazing is that by the end of the series, Knuckles has been through some changes and they seem perfectly natural, even welcome! He's begun to use his head more and his barbed mittens less. The partnership between Knuckles and Archimedes shouldn't be disregarded; it was probably the factor that made this story such a winner. WORST MULTIPLE ISSUE STORY OR MINISERIES: "The Death Egg Saga" [SonicQuest #1-#3] While Mike Gallagher's "Rage Against The Machine"/"Mecha Madness"/"Court Martial" series started strong, collapsed in the middle, and struggled back in the end, his "Death Egg Saga" took the opposite route: it started slow and picked up a little momentum in the middle only to deflate at the end. In addition, this three-issue saga added ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to the basic Sonic situation: Robotnik was still alive and nothing that Sonic or Tails accomplished did anything to help in King Acorn's recovery. Even Knuckles was curiously underutilized; aside from wasting two Burrobots, he and the Chaotix never really accomplished anything. The misprinting that took place in issue #2 might very well have served as an omen, marring the one issue in the series where Manny Galan's art looked halfway decent. The coy story titles were "Scrambled", "Poached", and "Over Easy"; the readers had a hard time keeping their "sunny side up", and if the saga itself wasn't "rotten" it was still pretty "raw". BEST COVER ART: Sonic #37. We'd better get used to the sight of a lifeless Princess Sally. Seriously, the composition is amazingly clean and controlled and emotionally powerful. WORST COVER ART: Mecha Madness issue. As I've said before, there are about 4 or 5 really good covers on this issue. Pat has let his enthusiasm get the better of him. More is decidedly less in this mishmosh. Not "bad" in the conventional sense but extrelemy confusing. BEST STORY ART: Pat Spaziante, Splash page, "The Dream Zone", [Sonic #43] One of the most sobering images I've ever seen. The damage, though less severe than that inflicted on the city by the earthquake and nuclear weapons of a couple of failed story arcs, hits closer to home. The signs are there, not only of past destruction, but also of subsequent neglect. The throne room (or what's left of it) has a haunted look about it. But it is the composition in the foreground that commands attention. Sonic has never looked less heroic than he does here. He and Geoffrey are so consumed by their mutual animosity that Sally appears not so much as someone each cares about and whom they're trying to comfort, but more like a wishbone in the hands of two petulent children. Sally's in deep pain made even deeper by the fact that neither of her two would-be "heroes" can connect with it. It's a devastating study, made all the more effective by Spaziante's foregoing of flashy effects. A sobering work and a deserving winner. WORST STORY ART: Kyle Hunter, "And One Shall Save Him" [Sonic #41]. Newcomer Kyle Hunter walks away with the prize not only because of the quality of his work, but mostly because the emotional stakes are so high: in this story you've got an intense romantic triangle, you've got the relationship of Sally to her father, and you've got the mystery of what's going on in the Zone. These situations demand art that can take in subtleties and nuance as well as operatic broadness. So it's all the more unforgivable that the artwork should be so flat, so lifeless, that it manages to sabotage the story rather than illustrate it. The characters betray no honest emotion; Geoffrey wears the same expression when he's in trouble in the Zone as when he's threatening to shoot Sonic in the head. Sonic's one facial expression gets used so many times you'd think the art was done with a photocopier. Come back, Dave Manak: all is forgiven! BEST NEW CHARACTER: Merlin Prower. ["Knuckles Quest 2", Sonic Live!] As strong a character as Archimedes became by the end of "Rites of Passage", who can resist the lure of Merlin Prower? The Happy Fun Fox has, in terms of relationships, been little more that Sonic's "little bro." Now it seems he's somehow connected with a hermet-like wizard who's a master illusionist and who apparently once performed card tricks for King Acorn and got on the royal payroll for it. So how come we never heard any of this before? Not bad considering he only appeared on one page! This is a character with potential. WORST NEW CHARACTER: Mammoth Mogul ["Don't Let The Island Hit You On The Way Down," Mecha Madness Special] There was some stiff competition for this singular honor. If sheer ugliness and incongruity of a character were the determining factors, Fly Fly Freddy ["Rise of Robotropolis...", Sonic #38] would have taken the sorry honors wings down. For utter stupidity, the French Frirus ["Let's Get Small," Sonic #33] was a serious contender. But as Forrest Gump's mama said: "Stupid is as stupid does", and by that standard Mammoth Mogul is the clear winner. Talk about a lousy first impression! Here is a character who comes on strong, introducing himself as "the former ruler of Mobius and its future lord and master". This is apparently by virtue of the fact that he was exposed to the energy of a Chaos Emerald several millennia ago. So what did he do with his "limitless power"? He lets himself get dethroned by "inferior races" [maybe I'm being too politically incorrect but I REALLY don't like that phrase!] and then goes off and spends the next several eons "waiting". And when he DOES try making his move, one frontal assault by the Chaotix and he turns tail and retreats. Since by definition "limitless power" doesn't have limits, we can only imagine how big of a loser Mammoth Mogul was in the beginning: "I used that power...OW!...to become master...HEY!...of all I surveyed...QUIT IT! I'M TELLING!!" Whether he meant to or not, Kent Taylor has given us less of a Mammoth Mogul and more of a Blimpy Wimp. The only consolation MM can derive aside from owning a walking stick with a Chaos Emerald in it is the knowledge that he earned his place in the Sonic Hall of Shame with this award. Enjoy, MM, and don't let the doorknob hit you on the way out. BEST IDEA: Beam yourself outta here, Scotty! Can you honestly picture "Notes From The Net" or the "Find Your Name In Print" page as developments that would have taken place under Scott Fulop's editorial reign? Did any of you appreciate the lame humor and Archie-like appearance of the comic strips that appeared on the Sonic-grams? Granted, some story continuity got jazzed in the transition between Scott and Freddy, but overall the book is moving away from the days of Gallagher/Manak dominance and the copying of the syndicated Sonic show and is following (however temporarily) the contours of the Saturday morning canon. The book clearly needed a changing of the guard in the editorial office. Now if we could only do something about the Sega watchdogs.... WORST IDEA: Nepotism Cartoonist Dan O'Neall once said: "If you do something stupid once, it's stupid; if you do something stupid twice, it's a philosophy." Ken Penders got philosophical on us in 1996 with predictable results. With a blatant disregard for the old adage about never sending a boy to do a man's work, he enlisted the aid of his young relatives not once but twice. In "The Last Game Cartridge Hero" [Sonic Live!] his son Stephen and niece Jessica became part of the action in a story which, to those of us who weren't related to the kids, was about as compelling as watching someone else's home movies. And one of the lamest stories of the year, "Sonic Shot" (#33), owed its existence to another child relative of Ken's, Thomas Penders. Unlike "Last Game Cartridge Hero" which suffered from aimless plotting and a reach that exceeded Ken's grasp, "Sonic Shot" was simply a lame story with no place to go but down. It was a tough year for Ken, what with having to adjust to working solo instead of in collaboration with Mike Kanterovich, but did he really have to draw on his grade-school- age relations for inspiration? These two stories, taken together, make a compelling case for the strict enforcement of child labor laws.