Knuckles #5 [Sep 1997] Cover art: continued from last issue. This one actually has some connection to the story inside. I could say something about the dingoes depicted on the front cover but I understand there are kids lurking nearby. Yet ANOTHER great cameo (or whatever) from Spaz/Harvo, though Julie-Su's boots look a bit overdrawn. The figures of the dingo and of Lara-Le are the most impressive due to their being lit from below, and there's something about Lara-Le's haunted expression that I find unusually compelling. The splash page. OK, you can look at it one of two ways: either the drawing (which I think is too nice to be used as wallpaper) is a contrast of Knuckles As Loner in the foreground and when he was actually part of a real family in the background; or else there's a Knuckles sibling that Ken's going to spring on us at some point. And if that sib happens to have violet eyes, then maybe that music Archy was hearing in the last issue wasn't "Lohengrin" so much as that banjo music from "Deliverance." If you don't get my meaning, e-mail me; like I said, there ARE children about. Page 1: I could have done without the Lucas reference; as an attempt at humor it was too (forgive the pun) Forced. But I LOVE the dialogue between Locke and...OK, it isn't "Sir" from the last issue because he was brown and not red. All the same, the dialogue itself is great stuff. If you tighten it up a little: "I know what you're thinking." "How?" "I know you." "Oh." "I also know her." "What's SHE thinking?" "How would I know?" It reads like great Absurdist drama, along the lines of Samuel Beckett's "Waiting for Godot" or (more specifically) Tom Stoppard's "Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead." But let's get down to business: "Lost Paradise: Part 2: Fallout" Writer: Ken Penders; Penciler: Manny Galan, Inker: Andrew Pepoy Ranger Smith, whose real name is "Constable Remington", has just busted Knuckles, Archimedes, and Julie-Su. Still, he recognized Knuckles as being a Guardian (must've read the Letters page in the last issue), and uses the old trap door bit to separate the boys from the girl. Knuckles and Archy end up in what looks like someone's apartment, but before we're introduced... Remember the appearing and disappearing of Echidnaopolis in the last issue? I didn't think that was all that impressive, to be honest with you. But the second and third panels on page 6 MORE than make up for it! We get to see two separate worlds (one populated by echidnas, the other by rather military-looking dingoes) phase-shift across each other's paths. The inhabitants of both worlds are freaked out. One dingo reports this turn of events to a General Stryker, who's so buff that he reminds me (a little too much) of Ahnold the Alsatian from Tiny Toons. He apparently also has the same barber as Beavis and Butt-head's gym teacher, Mr. Buzzcut. [Footnote: this is apparently the character who was originally named "General Von Speer" until Sega put their corporate foot down and demanded a name change, as also reported by Ken Penders at the Motor City Comic Con]. Just as well; if he'd been given a Teutonic name, the temptation to think of him as sounding like Ahnold would be even greater. Back underground, Knuckles is introduced to his host: a VERY old Guardian, specifically "your great-grandfather seven generations removed." By skipping ahead a few pages we deduce that this is none other than Hawking! Only now, as befits his namesake, he's confined to a wheelchair. The years (and apparently there have been a LOT of them!) have not been kind. He has Knuckles start playing a set of video discs that show his exploits during his "tenure as Guardian over 200 years ago." We see him in pursuit of dingoes who have stolen some military hardware. We also learn that, according to the Geezer Guardian, the dingoes have always been warlike and have always stolen echidna technology, including... OK, the LAST time I saw missiles like that was in the atrocious "Mecha Madness" story. Mike Gallagher displayed NO credibility when it came to discussing nuclear weaponry. Here's hoping Ken can learn from the past. Speaking of the past, Hawking (who is now wearing that snazzy hat worn by Knuckles in the Sonic _anime_) is shown giving instructions of some kind WRT the missiles to yet ANOTHER Guardian, this one wearing a dreadlock ring with the letter "M" on it. It's yet another tease as we follow Hawking into one of the underground tech storage vaults to fetch "perhaps the only possible solution" to their crisis: a remote control unit for an RC car? Ad on the facing page for: the ill-fated "Endgame" series, including #50 which they insist on calling a "commemorative issue." Technically, something "commemorative" serves as a reminder of someone or something, or else honors someone's death. The use of the word might have made sense if Sally really DID kick it in the course of the story arc; as it stands, and given the use of a certain character's silhouette in the "Endgame" logo, it appears that the issue is intended to be a tribute to Dr. Robotnik. Any hope on my part that we'll ever see the "director's cut" of #50 has pretty much dimmed; I just want to forget that that whole sorry arc ever happened! Fan Art: Joshua Bails of "Waren", Michigan (wonder if that's anywhere near "Warren", Michigan?) draws a "Knuckles" attacking...either it's a pirate or somebody's maiden aunt. And the Small Names In No Particular Order Page: note to the parents of "Joel 'A Punch Is Worth A Thousand Words' Blackwood": get therapy. Back to the flashback as Hawking uses the remote control to activate some kind of countermeasure against the incoming missiles. The sequence is given supposed weight by Hawking's narration: "I was breaking the most solemn vow a Guardian swears before all else! For the first time I wondered which mattered more--my people--or my conscience!" Gee, if I'm looking at the prospect of my fellow echidnas being turned into extra crispy nuggets because one of my ancestors had a problem with technology, and if I DON'T use that technology a huge chunk of the population I'm supposed to be guarding is going to buy the harp farm, I'd call that decision a no-brainer! Basically, what Hawking did was something that any first year cadet at Starfleet Academy would have done: "Raise shields!" The "energy shields" managed to save Echidnaopolis but of course the rest of the island was in jeopardy from the radioactive debris. So, having bought some time and after going through Dimitri/Enerjak's papers (which apparently included a copy of Sonic #50), Hawking came up with the Hyper Zone Projector which transported Echidnaopolis to another zone. Three hours, seventeen minutes, forty-two seconds into the future, perhaps. The Dingo Empire (or whatever they called it) was similarly treated but sent to a different time zone. This doesn't tie everything up in a neat package -- at that age, I guess Hawking is suffering from an advanced case of loose continuity. He then shows Knuckles a statue of the Floating Island as supported by Edmund and another echidna whose name is "conveniently" out of the frame. Hawking tells Knuckles that it symbolizes both his heritage and responsibility. Knuckles has "more questions than ever before", and he ain't the only one. But in the true spirit of dysfunctional families, Hawking tells Knuckles to "shut up and listen." At least he TRIES to, until a timely tremor cuts him off in mid-sentence. It's Julie-Su, ready to blow her top because she hasn't put in an appearance since page 4. Constable Remington decides that because she was keeping company with Knuckles at the time they were arrested she is automatically a "representative" of the Guardian and therefore qualified to handle a hostage crisis. That strikes me as a little like saying that by virtue of genetics my twin brother and I are qualified to switch jobs, but at least it keeps her involved in the plot. Somehow, Remington's lumping the dingoes in with what he tells Julie-Su are "your kind" really makes me question his judgment. Anyway, cut back to Knuckles who watches Hawking levitate himself back into his wheelchair. OK, so maybe "confined" isn't the best word. Anyway, Knuckles and Archy now see that dingoes are holding his mom, Lara-Le, hostage. Also involved, according to Remington, is "her consort." Lighten up, Remington, you can say "boyfriend." Knuckles, I'm sure, could come up with an alternative label. OK, I can be pretty slow on the uptake sometimes -- hey, I AM 45 years old! -- but it's beginning to look to me as if "Guardian" can also be pronounced "Superhero." In the discs we see Hawking flying through the air, wearing Captain Marvel gloves, and only now is it all beginning to fall into place: the powers, the solitude, Hawking's longevity, the deference shown by Remington. I'm beginning to see where this is going and, frankly, I've got mixed emotions about it. Earlier in the story Knuckles had described himself as "just an ordinary Joe doing his job" and that was pretty much the way I'd thought of him as well. I'd thought nothing unusual about Knuckles' flying/gliding/whatever. Then again, I'd thought nothing unusual about Sonic's speed or Tails' ability to fly. Seemed to make sense in the context of Mobius. That's one of the reasons I disliked "Bedtime Tails" (Sonic #38); it seemed as if Mike Kanterovich and Ken Penders were tinkering with a crossover between a furry book and a muscle-and-spandex book without either trying for a full-blown parody of the superhero genre or treating the characters as if they actually WERE superheroes. And given the rather depressing crop of superheroes nowadays (Spawn, the Maxx), the genre NEEDS to take itself less seriously! Unfortunately, muscle-and-spandex are the coin of the realm for comic books, and it looks like the Knuckles story is going to be no exception. Poor Knuckles isn't about to get buff (we now have Gen. Stryker for that), and I hope he doesn't decide to go with a dorkey costume. Unfortunately, he's showing some of the same dysfunctional characteristics as the Dark Knight model of Batman. Let's see what we have so far: he's been raised in isolation, apart from anything resembling a family, so it's no wonder he didn't exactly relate well to his own mother in the last issue -- he probably never really bonded with her, and after spending so much time with just his dad (who is, in effect, in hiding from his own son) his social skills are shot. It also probably goes a long way toward explaining why Locke's marriage to Lara-Le went sour. Since the hidden figure on page 1 professed not to understand "Jenna" or Lara-Le (whom he claims to know nevertheless), I get the sense that perhaps MOST Guardians who grew up in this system had such poor social skills that troubled relationships were the rule rather than the exception. And in claiming to "know" and "not understand" at the same time, it's an indication of just how blind to the problem the Guardians are! In addition, Knuckles has also inherited a rigid code of behavior that is NOT to be questioned; it almost prevented him from striking up a friendship with Princess Sally in "Black And Blue And Red All Over" (Sonic #44). He's only gradually getting to know his relatives whose one common denominator seems to be a well-developed knack for keeping secrets from each other and especially from Knuckles. Even the dialogues between Guardians other than Knuckles (Locke and "Sir", for instance) leave too much unsaid and convey a sense that these are NOT happy campers; Ken has yet to portray ONE Guardian who demonstrates anything resembling peace of mind. Any way you slice it, this whole Guardian system leaves a lot to be desired psychologically. Maybe it's my middle-age disillusionment with the IDEA of superheroism coming through. Still, I'm beginning to understand why the office of Guardian is hereditary: no echidna in his/her right mind would WANT the job. In the words of John Lennon, "I wouldn't do it for a giggle." Postcards For The Time Being Until We Pick A New Name: Knuckles #6, Sonic #51, and a VERY NICE film noir cover of Sonic #52. The INSIDES should only be so impressive. And letters: leave it to a Californian to ask Knuckles if he has "a sensitive side"; the rather telling reply, "I'd like to think so but I'd never admit it." Let's see: psychologists recognize that dysfunctional families tend to live by three hard and fast rules: Don't Talk; Don't Trust; Don't Feel. Knuckles has grown up apart from the society of which he's supposed to be a Guardian; the Guardians who are supposed to be initiating him into the office seem to have an attitude best summed up by Hawking's "Shut up and listen" so it seems that they don't even trust the kid; and he's not even honest about his own feelings. John Bradshaw, call your office.