Sonic the Hedgehog #129 [Jan 2004] Spaz/Ribeiro/Ray Cover: In what looks like a throwback to this comic's "magazine cover" period [issues 118-124], Sonic meets Amadeus and Rosemary Prower, as the text on the left declaims rather wildly. OK cover, and at least Josh Ray gave Amadeus something other than the flaming red hair of the House of Acorn. This mitigates the complaint from my last review: that the coloring for the Prowers was wrong. Axer/Higgins frontispiece: An alien scientist stands trial, accused of conducting a dangerous experiment deemed to run against the will of the assembled aliens. That describes the opening sequence of "Lilo and Stitch." It also describes the frontispiece of this issue, but we've got to do some reading before we get to the details. Speaking of details, nicely done Axer artwork here, though either the wrinkles on the prisoner's pant legs look an awful lot like veins or else someone should have colored those legs lime green to let us know that they ARE legs. "Tossed in Space : Space Gamble" Story: Romy Chacon; Art: Dawn Best; Ink: Kim Amash; Color: Jason Jensen; Lettering: Jeff Powell; Editor: Justin F. Gabrie; Managing Editor: Victor Gorelick; Editor-in-Chief: Richard Goldwater. Sonic takes part in a footrace. He wins. That's it. You want more? OK, Sonic originally came in second but the winner was disqualified after a review of the videotape showed the use of some performance-enhancing rockets. HEAD: The credits box lets us know this story owes its very existence to "SW Ep.1." Anyone who can't figure out what that means, go stand in a corner. To justify the existence of this 5-page exercise, Justin Gabrie misinforms us that "Sonic's ship was damaged last issue by E.V.E." Sorry, J. Fred, but it didn't happen that way. Sure, the Starmada took some pot shots at Sonic's ride, and E.V.E. busted up THEIR ships real good, but when Sonic tried doing the kamikaze number on E.V.E. she simply opened the door and let him in. He also managed to escape in time before she immolated herself. But this story had to have a premise, and in this case it was that Sonic had entered a conveniently-staged foot race by putting up the pink slip on the ship as the entrance fee. He was then supposed to use the inevitable winnings to fix up the ship for the next leg of the journey. Within the past few weeks, I can't remember where, I was reading something and came across the phrase "predictable as a comic book." That about sums up this story. The only thing that made it halfway interesting was that Sonic initially came in second and only took first place because the other contestant was disqualified. In my last review, I wrote that "S67's 'Tomb Raider' was little better than a 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' ripoff." This story is just as bad. It could have been a bit more interesting if, say, Sonic had entered a race against vehicles, demonstrating he's faster running than they are flying. Don't laugh: that was the basis of the "Sam Speed" segment of the first ep of Sonic X. And Heaven knows Sonic's ego is just big enough to think he could pull it off. But this was only a 5- pager and I suppose Romy was under a tight deadline. Head Score: 4. EYE: Dawn Best's artwork has to carry the weight of this ... I hesitate to call it a story. She acquits herself well when it comes to character design. For some reason the "foxy lizard- girl" Kir-Ta reminded me a lot of Grace Jones. I think it was the severe hair. Eye Score: 9. HEART: Sonic NOT the fastest thing alive? That's the one hook this story had going for it, and its sole redeeming feature. The dialogue was a little arch ["Be strong, my shattered ego."], but what it lacked in elegance it made up for in impact. I'm reminded of the "reality check" scene involving Mina in "Hearts Held Hostage: Part 2" (S123). Sonic can't indulge in anything like it, not on this story's page budget, but it does forge a connection with the audience who'd been pulling for Sonic to win only to see him lose on page [4]. It's not the race that matters but the results, and its impact on our hero. For anyone new to these reviews, this is a true Heart moment, and I'm glad Romy understood this enough to make use of it instead of doing a slavish by-the-numbers rehash of the race from SW Ep.1. It saved the almost-unsavable. Heart Score: 8. Fan Art: Cast drawings by Alina Velazquez and Nick Foster, Angel Rodriguez has Super Sonic breaking out in some kind of rash, and Brittany Batchelder shows Elias, who's traded in princehood for Pampers(tm). "Tossed in Space: Welcome to the Wheelworld" Story: Benny Lee (final), Art: Art Mawhinney; Ink: Michael Higgins; Color: Jason Jensen; Lettering: Michael Higgins; Editor: Justin F. Gabrie; Managing Editor: Victor Gorelick; Editor-in- Chief: Richard Goldwater. At first I thought it was a nebula or something, but it appears that Argentium is another name for the Planet of the Donuts. Well, it's a donut-shaped planet, anyway. It's also, as we were told by E.V.E. last time around, the home world of the Bem, the buggy scientists who did the switcheroo that turned Sonic and Tails into bots ... but I'm getting ahead of the story. When trying to get clearance to land, Sonic is told that they're only letting in aliens to attend the trial of Ceneca 9009. You'd think that if the trial was such a hot ticket they'd be screening people OUT, but Sonic goes along with it. In the process of landing, Sonic makes the following observation: "My Uncle Chuck could probably spend the rest of his life studying this place. As it is, nobody'll ever see him again once he gets his hands on my spaceship." Let me see if I've got this thing decoded: Sonic thinks Uncle Chuck is such a space jockey that he'll snatch the ship the second Sonic lands and then take off saying "Sayonara, suckers!" I think I'm missing something here, because that doesn't sound like the Uncle Chuck who, last we saw, was knocking himself out kanoodling out a way to deroboticize his brother Jules. This is either very clumsy foreshadowing or else Benny Lee seriously misread Uncle Chuck's character. Anyway, Sonic follows the ugly parade to the trial of Ceneca-9009, which is presided over by Ceneca-10050. Sonic wonders why everyone on Argentium is named "Ceneca." That question never DOES get answered as best as I can tell, but Lee's going to let loose continuity worry about that. Since "Ceneca" appears to be a universal title on the planet, I'll stick to using the numbers. What 9009 did to merit a trial was: after discovering a bot planet named Biotex, 9009 headed up a research team to turn the bots into orgos. Unfortunately, the "derobotizing" process that she perfected meant that they were susceptible to the toxic atmosphere of the planet and they all died off. Oops. With no Biotexans left alive to file a malpractice suit, the Argentium Tribunal Magistrate issued a restraining order against 9009 to prevent her derobotizing anyone else. That worked until the Bem arrived off Mobius where they witnessed the roboticization of Amadeus Prower in SSS9's "Eve of Destruction" [J. Fred forgot to give the text box reference]. And now, the rest of the story: When Robotnik took over the planet, Rosemary was caught in the sweep of citizens. No word on who was watching her son, Miles, at the time or how he came to be in Knothole. Before Rosemary can be roboticized herself, 9009 beamed them both off the planet and derobotized Amadeus. Back on Argentium, the Tribunal Magistrate wouldn't accept "They followed me home; can I keep 'em?" as an explanation for the presence of the Prowers, especially when 9009 tried making the case for doing a mass derobotizing of all roboticized Mobians which would run contrary to the restraining order. That's why she got her green butt thrown in jail. Sonic thinks he's sitting in the Amen pew and makes his presence known to the gathered aliens. And, as it turns out, who should be sitting in an adjoining section but the Prowers. But any reunion of the Mobians is cut short because the prosecution isn't through making its case against 9009. Once 9009 was released from the slammer, she petitioned the Tribunal to demonstrate the superiority of orgos over bots. The Tribunal agreed, probably just to shut her up because this whole derobotizing business had obviously become for her an idee fixe [pronounced "EEE-day FEEKS"]. And THAT was the set-up for S118's "Robotnik's Return," wherein the Roboticized Sonic and Tails defeated the organic Robotnik and Snively and everyone was turned into orgos for their trouble, even though this clearly went against the logic of 9009's argument. Plus it only took like about a YEAR to put that story into some kind of context, thanks to the magic of loose continuity. But wait, there's more! Rather than do the logical thing after the fight and roboticize everybody, 9009 went against orders and deroboticized the remaining roboticized Mobians ... except for Jules, as depicted in S123's "The Last Robian." For this kind of repeat insubordination, 9009 is told that, when the next planetary roll begins her head will roll along with it. The Mobians leave the courtroom and catch up on old times, mainly involving bringing the Prowers up to speed on what their two-tailed progeny has been doing. Unfortunately, they discover that the Argentium version of Ross Cascio (about whom more later) is taking Sonic's ride to the impound lot ... one piece at a time, as a way of enforcing the ban on travel to Mobius. Instead of getting around the travel ban by going to Mobius by way of Canada (hey, it works with Cuba), 10050 shows up and reads Sonic the minority report. Seems she thinks that derobotizing Mobius redresses the karmic balance WRT what happened on Biotex. If Sonic can spring 9009 from jail, 10050 will provide some wheels so they can get to a nearby wormhole/jumpgate/whatever. No sooner said than done, Sonic and 9009 arrive only to discover that the "wheels" in question is a single-seater. Just then the air is filled with the sound of "Aroogala! Aroogala!" which means either that 9009's escape has been discovered or else that the salad bar is open. The ship takes off, manages to elude pursuit, and makes the jump to Mobius. Cue the surprise ending: it was Sonic aboard the ship, even though the Argentium cops thought it was 9009. 9009 goes into hiding, and the Prowers are stuck on Argentium while Sonic bears a gift of some sort from them to Tails. And Sonic is FINALLY heading back for Mobius ... whatever it may be. As Benny Lee lets us know that he's doing some truckin' himself. HEAD: Please bear with a transplanted Chicagoan for a minute or two while I reminisce about one of the Chicago characters who didn't make it into the tour guides: Ross Cascio. Chicago has always been something of a world class tourist attraction and business center; it was a major railway hub in the 19th century and airline hub by virtue of O'Hare Airport in the 20th. The streets, however, began to experience growing pains during the 1960s. Rather than make parking any easier, Chicago began cracking down on illegal parking to such an extent that fines from parking enforcement became a major source of city revenue. One of the most notorious parking "enforcers" was Ross Cascio, owner of Lincoln Park Towing on the city's North Side. His workers, not a few of whom were ex-convicts, were merciless in swooping down on illegally-parked cars; more often than not, the car would be damaged in the process of towing and the cars' owners threatened with physical violence if they happened to catch the tow truckers in the act. His manner of conducting business was so blatant (at one time he pretty much defied the State's Attorney's Office to shut him down) that it moved singer- songwriter Steve Goodman to compose an ode to Cascio titled "The Lincoln Park Pirates." OK, got that out of my system, now back to the story. After two stories in a row that were by-the-numbers derivative, it was a refreshing change to read a story that actually had something like a plot and which owed its influence not to the well-worn conventions of space opera but to other stories in the Sonic continuity. I don't know if this story was in the back of Benny Lee's mind when he did "Robotnik's Return," but it sort of gives that story a bit of an anchor. When I first encountered that story, I accepted the novelty of a robotic Sonic and Tails going up against Robotnik and Snively and felt that the whole Bem subplot was from out of left field. Now we have a better idea of who the Bem are, especially 9009 who appears to be the equivalent of the mad scientist who insists on opening doors Bem were never meant to open. This keeps her from becoming another stock character, another Robotnik clone. Speaking of exceeding expectations, I took to the notion that the Bem were all female with ease. It's such a given that it's a man's universe that this change-up was refreshing. As I said earlier, I'm not sure what to make of Sonic's soliloquy on page [2] concerning Uncle Chuck being a closet Rocket Man. It just didn't seem to fit either this story or the character of Uncle Chuck. I also have to question the physics of having a donut-shaped planet. A sphere is the most compact, simplest form for a world. It also has the one thing that Argentium appears to lack: a center of gravity. I suppose that if the world revolved like a ferris wheel it would hold everyone to the inner rim by centrifugal force. I'm not so sure that that wouldn't keep the planet's atmosphere from dissipating, however. But that's a minor point, unless you happen to like breathing. The major point is the re-introduction of the Prowers, even if it only serves the purpose of leaving them still stranded on Argentium when all's said and done. I frankly don't expect Archie to ever do a story where Tails discovers the fate of his parents. For one thing, it would sound too much like one of the lame ideas pitched by Deadline in S126's "Better Read Than Dead": "Tails's Tragedy: 'My Parents Were Abducted By Aliens!'" I also dread the fact that on the next-to-last page the Xorda, the brainazoid aliens whose appearance got this sorry arc off the ground in the first place, are still mentioned. With any luck, they'll wait another three thousand years before discovering that their record is 0 for 2 when it comes to destroying life on Mobius. Losers. Overall, though, this story was a good end to the story arc and Sonic is finally back home. Or is he? I'm sorry, I still don't trust the writers after what they pulled in S97. We don't know yet how much time has elapsed since Sonic took off. And we've been burned by dummy covers before. So I'm leery of the thumbnail of S130 showing someone who looks like Sonic observing someone who looks like Sally kneeling next to someone's grave. We'll just have to wait and see. Head Score: 8. EYE: Art Mawhinney, who did the artwork for "Eve of Destruction" (SSS9), is a natural choice to do the artwork here. About the only question I have concerns the layout on page [12], where the three-panel progression of Sonic running appears on the left side of the page. I thought it would make more sense appearing on the right, but that's just me. Anyone else notice that? And whoever handled the flashbacks used a dust filter to simulate the video record; this is a big improvement over the blue or sepia tinting usually associated with flashback sequences, and it worked for me. Eye Score: 9. HEART: After several stories where this wasn't a factor at all (esp. S128's "Evo-solution"), it's great to actually have Sonic get into some meaningful interaction with someone: the Prowers. I once tried figuring out how Tails came to be part of the Knothole crowd. The idea I came up with, but never developed into a fanfic, was that Tails was either hidden away or abandoned by Rosemary while she was on the point of being captured by SWATbots, and that the little tyke was discovered in Robotropolis by Sonic and brought back to Knothole. That story would be the counterpart to this one, wherein we learn how the Prowers got to Argentium and unfortunately not much else. Too bad. Of all the creatures that have flitted in and out of the comic during this whole sorry arc, these two we can CARE about, primarily because of their relationship to Tails. Speaking of relationships, I remember Bob Repas asking on Ken Penders's message board why the crashing lack of interest in why Jules was the only roboticized Mobian not to be changed back. We're still no closer to knowing that, though we know it was 9009 who deroboticized everyone else. BTW, I'm assuming that "deroboticize" and "derobotize" are generally synonymous. So what's the difference? Somehow or other, this comic never worked on making us care about Jules. Ever since his introduction it was assumed that because he was Sonic's father we were supposed to form an attachment to him. But for whatever reason, whether the nature of the stories that featured him since his arrival in "Brave New World" or the skills of his various writers, it just didn't work out that way. This seemed to be different somehow. Perhaps it has something to do with Tails's age and the fact that he could better appreciate a set of parents than a mid-teen such as Sonic or Sally, whose relationship with her own rents has been handled in a less-than-convincing manner. This is the area where Archie Comics is at its most hopeless: it has simply never done a very good job of spelling out relationships between the characters, even at the most basic levels. And we're not talking just about family units, either; the situation with pseudo-families such as Knuckles and the Chaotix is no better. And it is the interrelationships of the characters as much as their abilities, super or otherwise, that help define them and give us a way to care about them. Take the animated "Teen Titans" as an example. The relationships on the show work for me not, for instance, because Raven is an interplanetary Goth chick while Starfire is so cheery in her own slightly goofy alien way, but because they get to play off against each other. In this comic, the coolly rational Sally by herself would be as much of a bore as the impulsive Sonic; it's getting these two kids inside the same panel that makes things happen. And now that Sonic is in the home stretch to land on Mobius there'll be a better chance of it happening. But a part of me thinks it's still a long shot. Heart Score: 7. This Justin: J. Fred opened the door on this one by asking, "just for giggles," how to handle the Sonic X continuity WRT the comic. Giggle THIS, dear Freditor: You shouldn't even begin the think about incorporating the Sonic X situations, which take place on another planet entirely as established in ep 1, until you've got the Sonic X CHARACTERIZATIONS down pat. Rogue, Knuckles, and Amy Rose (remember Amy Rose?) are all in play in the series, but are only pale imitations of themselves in the confines of the comic. Once you understand what goes on inside a character's head and heart, the stories generally write themselves. This is the same advice I pass on to aspiring fanfic writers who ask for tips and pointers: get your characterizations right. Another piece of advice: read, and not just comic books. Sonic-Grams: Haylo from Oz asks about species crossovers and Sonic X, Mark Teo from the UK thinks minor characters should show up in cameo appearances at best with the exception of Cream, and Tom Harritt is glad Spaz is doing traditional covers again and that the stories are getting longer but gives the "Off Panel" a deserved thumbs down.