Sonic #73 [Aug 1999] Spaz/Harvo/Ray cover: To paraphrase a famous _bon mot_ coined by Benjamin Franklin, the Knothole Freedom Fighters (with Amy Rose in for Rotor) vow to hang together while being watched by someone who wouldn't mind seeing them hang separately. I understood the meaning of the drawing, and it's a great one. The application, though, is another matter. Remember those computer-generated posters that were such a hot item a few years back, the ones where you had to stare at them cross-eyed for like about five minutes until you either saw an image jump out at you or else you got a major headache? I felt that way about the cover art. Robotnik's left eye as reflected on the surface of the video monitor was no problem to spot, but it took a while to discern his right eye and even longer to find his teeth. And I'm STILL not sure I know where his moustache is. Should someone have to work this hard to decipher the cover of a comic book? I have no problem with the concept, as I said, and Spaz is a great talent, but this is one of those times where the technology gets in the way of that talent. "RavenM" gave what I believe to be the most succinct assessment of this cover: "It's so PrintShop." "The Truth Is Out There" [That small gurgling sound you hear in the background is that of the phrase rolling over and expiring after having been officially worked to death!] Story: Karl Bollers; Art: Steven Butler; Ink: Pam Eklund; Color: Frank Gagliardo; Lettering: Jeff Powell; Editorial: G-Force Well, I guess I can stop complaining that we never see Sonic interacting with his folks. The story opens with Sonic presenting his parents with a set of power ring wedding bands (which are apparently worn like bracelets) for their anniversary. But Archie didn't want to gross out the core audience with too much family- oriented mush, so we then get a half-page of Nate and Uncle Chuck doing a mutual admiration thing before Sonic takes a call from Sally to see her. We then cut to Sal's room. I don't know who picked the linen pattern, but the acorn cutout on the headboard was a nice touch. Elias then enters and delivers a major soliloquy that takes up all of page 5, wherein he makes a not unsuccessful attempt to reach out to Sally...and about time, too! Yet what he says is at least as interesting as to whom he says it: he spends the entire page addressing Nicole! This segment could have crashed big time, but I came away kind of liking Elias for it. To me it shows a certain endearing awkwardness about relating to a sister he didn't know he had. Yet as effective as that page was, it's still prelude to the bomb he drops on Sally once Nicole is offline: "I have no desire to rule the Kingdom of Acorn!" Whoa, the dude's clear on the concept of "unqualified!" His personal long-term goals are, and always have been, "curing my mother and finding adventure." That last comment tracks well with the image of Elias apparently enjoying himself when Geoffrey St. John and his squad were caught in a flash flood in "The Many facets of the truth" (K21). And no, he hasn't told dear old Dad about this yet. Well, that was an interesting interlude, but now it's back to business. Specifically, the business with the satellites, the last one of which Robotnik brings online. Back in Sally's room, the Knothole crowd, with Nate and Elias sitting in, make themselves comfortable. You'd be advised to do the same, because we're about to encounter over SIX PAGES of exposition covering events dating back to the beginning of the Icon arc in Sonic #62. Yep, that's a YEAR's worth of updating. Short version: anything unexplained over the last year of storytelling has just been explained by the presence of the satellites. If nothing else, this sequence stands as a monument to the concept of "loose continuity" in action. Then, just as Max peeks in to see what those meddlin' kids(tm) are up to, Nicole announces that an eighth satellite has come online over Knothole. Sonic dashes out of the castle and races past two pages of advertisements to discover that Knothole is deserted. "Come on, this isn't funny," Sonic says, though in the two-page spread that ends the story Robotnik would beg to differ. As for Sonic's own emotional state, well, it's hard to tell from the look of him on the monitors, and deliberately so. The Sonic on display in the final spread bears a striking resemblance to the Sonic who appeared on page 29 of "Brave New World," in a drawing where the figure of Sonic was obviously redrawn by Pat Spaziante because Ken Penders had made Sonic look "too depressed." Of course the rendering of Sonic is so flat and heartless that it brings down the entire spread. Meanwhile, of course, Snively is allowed to cringe in terror while Dr. Bloat gets to gloat. This emotionally hypocritical moment is brought to you by Sega's Vice President In Charge Of Hedgehog Attitude Adjustment and Marketing Goon Squad Commander. Remember what I said about the amount of space Rotor's leaving the continuity got in the previous issue in comparison with the fuss made over the idiot box, and how it seemed to be evidence that in order to work for Archie Comics one has to have a cockeyed sense of priorities? Methinks that goes double for Sega! HEAD: By some weird narrative inversion, I thought the sequences that bookended the core of this story [Sonic's present to his folks, the scene between Elias and Sally, and Sonic's discovering that Knothole is deserted] far more engaging than the lump of cold exposition in the middle. Saving that much explanation for one story is a case of too much too late. And it was also unnecessary! It wouldn't have hurt if Bollers had nudged things along by at least HINTING at a cause-and-effect relationship along the way. Take the appearance of the robosquid in "Saving Nate Morgan," (S70). Would it have killed Bollers and Butler, after the satellite comes online, to have included a pair of extreme close-up panels of the computerized calamari's eye suddenly opening and beginning to glow? At the very least it would have been a nice "Uh-oh!" moment for the readers and perhaps mitigated the ridiculous feeling one got when the monster made its appearance (a SQUID?!?). But Bollers decided to serve up everything at once. The end result is something like going up to a deli bar, making a selection of cheeses, cold cuts, and relishes...and then wrapping all that around the OUTSIDE of a kaiser roll and trying to swallow the whole works in one gulp. Head Score: 5. EYE: The characters are looking good, as usual. Once again, the only problem is anchored in the satellite exposition sequence. The trouble with the satellites is that not only do they clutter up the pages but, let's be honest here, they all look alike! They all look like Darth Vader's TIE Fighter from the original "Star Wars." Until they jettison their solar panels or whatever, then they look like those Pokemon balls. The overwhelming feeling I got when I saw them for the fifth time was "Enough already!" I won't rag on Steve Butler too much for emotionally neutering Sonic in the final spread; I know he was only following orders. Eye Score: 7 (it would've been higher if the satellites hadn't gotten in the way). HEART: Once more, the bookends outclassed the core material. Sonic's interaction with his parents was abbreviated, but was still better than nothing and was just enough to set up the poignancy of the scene where he discovers that his parents are gone. And as I said, there's a certain awkward charm in Elias's opening himself up to Nicole before he commits truth to Sally. It'll be interesting to see how this develops. After all, in "The Ultimatum," Sally learned that along with her succeeding to the throne of Mobius comes the dubious honor of being betrothed to Antoine. Why? Because the pool full of goo said so. King Max's bumping Sally out of the line of succession now that Elias is back in town seemed to have resolved that problem, but Elias's reluctance means that the issue just flared up again. And of course Sega being Sega, they had to spoil the final scene by not letting Sonic be properly anguished. Heart Score: 6. "Tales of the Great War: Part 2" "The Big Bad One" Story: Ken Penders; Art: Art Mawhinney, Ink: Jim Amash; Color: Barry Grossman; Lettering: Jeff Powell; Editorial: G-Force. Back at the library, Tails and Amy Rose are still enthusing over Kirby's quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore when Uncle Chuck shows up. Oddly enough, his presence signals a downturn in the story structure. Not only does Justin throw in a totally irrelevant aside about Albion in a text box on page 2, but Uncle Chuck rubs yours truly the wrong way by saying that the library "isn't a place for young'uns." As compared to what, a video arcade? If he meant "This part of town isn't a place for young'uns," why didn't he say so in so many words? I hope I never hear Ken Penders complain about declining literacy amongst members of the core audience. "No place for young'uns." As if! Let's move on before I do another ill-conceived rave-out. Uncle Chuck then relates how the Great War got rolling. The sequence on pages 3-4 demonstrates that Kodos and Naugus more or less deserved each other. One has to assume that Naugus's making himself scarce in the Zone/Void was only a temporary prelude to Robotnik's sending him there later on. No such excuse can be offered, though, concerning what happens later in the story. Not that I have a problem with what happened -- what's war without senseless atrocities? -- but we had the obligatory text box referring to a similar massacre of two squads of soldiers (one Overlander, one Mobian) which were both wiped out by Kodos as a pretext to widen the war ("The Fellowship of the Rings," S65). In this case, the incident involves only one scout from each side being on the receiving end of Kodos's Offscreen Xtreme Chiropractic. And it's not going to get any prettier. HEAD: Where would the comics industry be without flashbacks? And that's what we have here, though at least Ken Penders is (maybe) on previously unmapped territory. But there's too much similarity between events in this story and similar occurrences: Naugus making himself scarce in the Zone before being exiled there by Robotnik, Kodos committing atrocities against two individuals rather than against two squads. Either there's some serious karma happening here, or else Ken's reading of the continuity to date is a little off. Head Score: 7. EYE: Once again, Mawhinney's artwork is definitive though Barry Grossman's coloring is a little jarring. And what's with Mobians still going about on all fours? Eye Score: 7. HEART: There have been some sharp complaints about Kodos's conduct in this story. That's why I'm glad the FX channel has been rerunning the series "M*A*S*H." Not only was it one of the best- written TV series ever, it dealt with the issue of war. In one memorable exchange, Hawkeye declares that war isn't Hell, it's worse. Father Mulcahey, for professional reasons, wants to know Hawkeye's reasoning. "Who's in Hell?" Hawkeye asks. "Sinners," Mulcahey answers. Exactly, Hawkeye replies. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell the way there are in a war; civilians, old people, children, they're all fair game. Anyone who doesn't believe this hasn't been keeping up with events in Kosovo. Ken hasn't gone out of his way to depict the horrors of war. Neither did Art Mawhinney, who shows the two dead scouts only in silhouette. But at least Ken hasn't gone out of his way to lie about it, either. This sort of thing happens in a war and there's no use saying otherwise. OK, it's cruel and depressing; name sonething about a war that isn't. Heart Score: 9 (Ken gets a point knocked off for that line about libraries). Off-Panel: You know, Justin, the problem could be your material. Here's a little number you might want to rehearse for the time you want to celebrate the work of Pat Spaziante. And since all you baby-boomers at Archie Comics appear to be fluent in Beatlespeak... When I need a cover Loaded with pizazz I don't have to worry: I just call on Spaz. Spaziante's work has lots of power It's what the fans devour. P.S., I love you You, you, youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Then again, maybe not. Sonic-Grams: I don't know which "Internet chat-room" Justin is talking about, but it would seem I'm not the only one who came down hard on Justin for his off-the-cuff misidentification of Prince Elias's age in the "Fistful of Letters" in Knuckles #24. He manages to avoid taking direct responsibility for the blunder by saying "It was an incorrect assumption." Not a real _mea culpa_ but he gets points for setting the record a little bit straighter. And I'm still writing fanfic; all I need to do is give up sleeping and I'll have all the time I need. Letters: Kim Bratton compliments the comic for the Pro-Art page. Too bad the letter appears in an issue where there isn't any, or any Fan Art, for that matter. Blurbs for Sonic 74 and Knuckles 27...wait a minute, the "First Date" arc is supposed to be a "romantic comedy"? I think I'd better go back and reread the first installment; it didn't strike me as being particularly romantic or funny.