Sonic #79 [Feb 2K] Pat Spaziante/Harv Mercadoocasio/Josh Ray cover: Amy Rose reaching for a chaos emerald as Sonic and Elias look on, aghast. Uh, swell cover, Pat, but maybe they're aghast because she's supposed to be reaching for a POWER RING. I know that Archie has been having continuity troubles lately, but the problems usually don't kick in until the first page at least! But the cover also proclaims this to be a "Sega Dreamcast Sonic Adventure tie-in," and there you have it. Remember the premise behind the Lost Paradise arc (K4-6)? The echidna and dingo realities, which had existed for so long on separate planes of the space-time continuum, were on a collision course for the same point in space-time. The results would have been the amazing two-headed society, once the rubble and dead bodies had been cleared away. It was a great Ken Penders idea which, like the Day of Fury and Hawking's fate, never got the chance to be fully explored before Archie pulled the plug on the Knuckles line. Well, the same process is at work here. While Sega has been developing the Dreamcast hardware and Sonic Adventure software (and keeping the ol' bloodlust fired up with the detestable "House Of The Dead" game), the Archie creatives have been keeping the storyline moving forward. Now, for the benefit of Sega, the creatives have been handed the Sonic Adventure [hereinafter referred to as "SA"] storyline and their marching orders: "Make it fit." At first glance, they'd have better luck lobbying Congress for a tax hike. The ONLY regular characters from the comic continuity that are also part of the video game are Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy Rose and Robotnik/Eggman/Whatever. EVERYBODY else is more or less superfluous to the unfolding of the plot. Such as it is. Video games have come a long way since the days of Pong, but they haven't changed all that much from a narrative standpoint. Even the earlier Sonic games had a plot that could be summarized as: "Get from point A to point B." Everything else was commentary. And despite some VERY impressive graphics, much of the game play in SA still adheres to that rule. Sonic and the other playable characters still have to get from Station Square (were someone does battle with Chaos) to the Mystic Ruins (where someone does battle with Chaos) to the Egg Crate...excuse me, the Egg Carrier (where someone does battle with Chaos) then back on the ground in Station Square for the final battle with Chaos. There are sidetrips to such venues as Casinopolis (where you can watch Sonic take a shower -- not that there's anything wrong with that!) and the unfortunately named "Twinkle Park," and the trips make sense in the course of game play because the characters acquire useful souvenirs such as the Crystal Ring (Sonic), the Shovel Claw (Knuckles), the Warrior Feather (Amy) and so forth. Besides, you have to play ALL SIX playable characters before the FINAL battle with "Perfect Chaos," so it's kind of hard to cut to the chase. From a narrative standpoint, however, it would be hard to justify some of these excursions and it'll be interesting to see what doesn't make it into the books. What I DO want to see is how the creatives handle the Tikal subplot. Actually, "subplot" isn't the best word to describe it because it's key to what happens at the climax of the story. And quite frankly, the more I watch the videotape of the game play, the more I like the whole Tikal business. She's a great character and the story line adds a worthwhile dimension to the history of Knuckles and his kind; I found myself wishing Ken Penders had thought of it. The presentation was a little choppy, being handled in a series of flashbacks that happen to each character with the player having to piece the action together on the wing. Still, Archie and Sega have been following different tracks and now all of a sudden they're supposed to converge. Justin, in his Freditorial, wants feedback from both game players and comic readers as to how the two melded together. OK, J.F., but remember, you asked for it: "The Discovery" Story: Karl Bollers; Art: Fry; Ink: Andrew Pepoy; Color: Frank Gagliardo; Lettering: Jeff Powell; Editorial: G-Force. BTW, Justin Gabrie has now added "Story Outline" to his credits. Cheaper than giving him a raise, I'll bet. You know that this is a "Let's get down to business" adaptation because Karl can't even be bothered with the Bollers Opening Gambit, which usually involves stretching one single action to accomodate the first three pages. Then again, this installment is only seven pages long so it's not like Karl had a whole lot to play with. You can also tell that Nate Morgan is into serious Web surfing; why else would he be wearing knee pads? Before Sonic can ask whether beefing up the motherboard wouldn't allow Nate to download Melissa Joan Hart GIFs faster, we find out that he's really trying to hack into Robotnik's network. When they find an allusion to Eggbotnik's having discovered "the Mystic Ruins," we know Karl isn't wasting time. Thanks to his new status as a blue knight, Sonic manages to get an audience with King Max without having to go through a lot of red tape. The king believes that "the Hidden City needs to be forewarned." I puzzled on this for a minute before realizing that they're probably talking about two different pieces of real estate. You can tell that Karl wrote this with new readership in mind; why else would he take the time to introduce each member of the Knothole crowd by name? We then get a page of Amy Rose being scrubbed from the mission because she doesn't meet the age requirement. There then follows a page of Max talking with Elias. I couldn't help but notice that Max refers to Sally as "Your sister" [to Elias], "Sally" and "the Princess." Am I the only one who thinks that this is weird? OK, so Karl may be trying to avoid repetition, but there's something...OFF about it. I mean, he DOES manage to refer to Elias as "son." And keep in mind that as of Special #11, neither Elias nor Sally have informed dear old Dad that they each want to take a pass on ruling his downsized kingdom. I still think that this is a family (or what's left of one) that should get into therapy ASAP. Elias, meanwhile, has a brainstorm that had managed to slip his mind until such time as it was convenient for the plot. Running a gauntlet of female admirers (OK, we've established that he's viewed as being a hunk by the local babes, now let's move on, shall we?), he heads for "the Royal reliquary." This is correctly defined in the Endnotes as a "shrine" but Fry apparently thinks that the word spelled r-e-l-i-q-u-a-r-y is pronounced "bungalow" because that's what he's drawn. And inside, Amy Rose seems to have beaten Elias to the punch. They say great minds think alike, but maybe it's just as well that someone who thinks like a 10-year-old girl has taken himself out of the line of succession for the throne. "To Be Continued," you betcha. HEAD: For all of Karl Bollers's eagerness to tackle the task of adapting the SA story to the comic, the story here still has an overwhelming feeling of "On your mark, get set...." It's all set-up to what happens in the next issue, which I'll discuss at that time. On the plus side, we're guaranteed a respite for the next six months from pointless excursions into space to look at starships. Head score: 7. EYE: Fry turns in good work here, and I especially liked the panel on page 4 where Sonic discovers that the gang has dropped by for breakfast. Reminds me of how central eating was to the good times in Kenneth Graham's "Wind In The Willows." Hopefully, the army of admiring babes won't be putting in too many more appearances; it's starting to get a little pointless. Eye Score: 8. HEART: Once again, I come away from a scene involving King Max and one of his kids with a bad taste in my mouth. Max and Elias not only keep a physical distance from Sally, but an emotional distance as well. Their talking about keeping her clueless as to her own mother's condition represents the kind of emotional retentiveness and secretiveness I'd expect to find in a Ken Penders script. Besides, why couldn't Sally be getting the straight dope from Dr. Quack on her own, thus doing an end-run around the two royal mopes? Heart Score: 6. "The Origins of The Web," and no, it has nothing to do with Al Gore. It's appropriate that The Web's costume is pickle green; given the circumstances under which he got into the crime- fighting business John Raymond, alias "The Web," may as well have christened himself "DILL" (which stands for "Dumb Idiot Luck Lad"). I mean, the guy didn't do a THING in his own origins story! He got held at gunpoint by his brother, discovered that the phone lines had been cut, then just sort of stood there while the police broke in on his bad guy brother. Didn't have to lift a finger! With a scenario like that, Paul Castiglia could make a superhero out of a potted geranium. "The Chaos Factor" Story: Ken Penders; Art: Steven Butler; Ink: Pam Eklund; Color: Frank Gagliardo; Lettering: Vickie Williams; Supervising Lord-High Muckety-Muck: J. F. Gabrie "As far as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a Goodfeather." Sorry, wrong opening. Honestly, though, I couldn't help but think of the Goodfeathers when I first heard Knuckles's narration in SA. Ken HAS quoted the opening narration from the Knuckles segment of SA verbatim, so he's not afraid to tackle the problem of melding the two storylines head-on. Nor is Knuckles afraid of tackling the creature making a grab for the Master Emerald. This is Chaos, and I don't envy ANY of the Archie creatives the task of rendering him in two dimensions; he looks WAY more impressive in CGI. Anyway, in the kind of deep purple hues that reminded me of Julie-Su's reunion with Simon in "Shadows" (SSS11) as well as the infamous Death Egg #2 fiasco, Knuckles dreams that the Floating Island has fallen out of the sky and into the water. He wakes up, promising himself he'll read something lighter than Aldous Huxley's dystopian futurism from now on before going to bed. He then discovers that he's suddenly the custodian of valuable beachfront property. He heads for Haven to discuss this state of affairs with his dad who, along with the rest of the Brotherhood, must be spreading paper towels on the floor like crazy. That move, unfortunately, leaves us having to stare at Eggbotnik's ugly mug for six pages and putting up with his exposition. Seems he managed to uncover some tantalizing info about the fully-formed Chaos (once again, a beast far more impressive in CGI than as drawn here). Having located the resting place of Chaos "deep within the Mysterious Cat Country," Eggbotnik's brilliant and precise scientific mind devises the perfect plan for releasing the Chaos being from its home inside a Black Emerald: he'll whang the emerald with a sledgehammer. Ad for Special #12 and the return of Zonic. This special "will have you walking on walls," the ad proclaims. Better than CLIMBING the walls in frustration, which I was doing for most of October when I couldn't find a copy of SSS11 anywhere. It's still MIA from the stands around here. But hey, I know when I'm licked; I already sent away for Special #12. Plus Archie Andrews as Fred, Jughead as Shaggy, Hot Dog as Scooby-Doo, Reggie as Scrappy-Doo (I guess), and Betty and Veronica in a cat fight -- loser has to wear glasses, gain weight, paste on freckles and feign intelligence to play Velma. The results of Eggbotnik's master plan are less than spectacular. However, keep your eye on the little speck of light that was liberated from the Black Emerald along with Chaos and which Eggbotnik has ignored; it WILL figure later in the plot. After a couple more pages and a lot more firepower, Eggbotnik FINALLY, after all these years, gets access to the Master Emerald. Which he then proceeds to bust up into little pieces. It makes a certain amount of sense in this context, though. However, it also has the unwanted side effect of freeing Mammoth Mogul. This smooth move is IMHO the best argument I've ever seen in favor of abolishing Archie Comic's doctrine of "loose continuity." For those of you just joining us, "loose continuity" was first mentioned in the Sonic-Grams of S49. In theory, it means that a plot development doesn't have to end with the end of a single story or story arc, but rather it can continue on in subsequent issues. In practice it means that the creatives can throw in any sludge-brained plot point they want without worrying about having to resolve it in your lifetime. Such has been the sorry history of Mammoth Mogul. Making his entrance in "Don't Let The Island Hit You Where Muttski Should Have Bit You" (Mecha Madness Special), he was an ineffectual villain at best, all talk and no walk. His next appearance was in the Dark Vengeance arc (K7-9), where he de- energized Enerjak and showed some potential. Then came Kent Taylor's infamous "Immortality Is Forever..." (S56), one of the most worthless and boring Sonic stories of all time (unless you're a Tails fan, because the little guy gets a fairly juicy part, but anyway...). MM throws his considerable weight around while shedding his button-down suit to reveal a preference for leather gladiator outfits. After a lot more talk than action, Locke and Sabre manage to trap MM within the Master Emerald in a plot twist so uncalled-for and clumsily handled that John Hebert was shoved aside as artist at that point in the story to make room for Manny Galan. To this day I believe that Taylor should have fried MM's wooly butt while he had the chance. After all, Robotnik had been dead for 6 issues by that time and Naugus would be K-ZORCHTed by Nate Morgan in less than a year, so it's not as if Archie Comics is morally opposed to snuffing villains. But no, Kent Taylor spared MM and now he's once again been loosed on an unsuspecting readership. And lucky Ken Penders gets to clean up the mess. HEAD: Ken has done a good job here, given the limitations of trying to meld the story lines. He starts strong with the fall of the Floating Island and saved Eggbotnik's exposition for the back end of the story. Two bad he couldn't come up with a way to leave Mammoth Mogul out of the picture. If we're lucky, he'll end up as a snack for Chaos. Let's keep our fingers crossed. Head Score: 8. EYE: After having been displaced from the Sonic comics by Fry and finding that the promised job on the Knuckles comic has been pulled out from under him, Steve Butler acquits himself admirably. I liked his rendering of the panicking populace, but his drawing of Knuckles awakening from his nightmare looked overdone. Eye Score: 9. HEART: Not much to go on this time around. Ken got the story out there without much room for nuance or character development. Which probably kept Sega happy. Heart Score: N/A. "Tales of the Great War: Conclusion" "Life Underground" Story: Ken Penders; Art; Chris Allan; Ink: Jim Amash; Lettering: Jeff Powell; Coloring: Frank Gagliardo; Editorial: G- Force. You know you're in trouble, from a narrative standpoint, when the first words out of a character's mouth in the first panel are: "So let me get this straight...." Elias wasn't the only one who needed a refresher course on what's been going down. I had to read this through more than once to get a clear idea of what was happening. I think. Hope you understand HTML: After Jules had been roboticized, Uncle Chuck got out of the science business and became a short order cook. Sensing that War Minister Julian was somehow involved, Bernie confronts him about it. As was the case with Tails's father in "Eve of Destruction" (SSS9), she does so without thinking to call for backup. Huge mistake; Julian orders her to be roboticized. At some point, the roboticized Uncle Chuck manages to free Jules's mind, in order to set up... Uncle Chuck arrives to find Bernie 1.0 and Julian's cover story. He then finds himself getting a dose of full-time single parenthood. Uncle Chuck then shows Jules his proposed base of operations and the only real glimpse of the "life" promised in the title. And, surprise, Jules and Bernie are reunited. When Elias asks how they were able to reconstruct everything that happened while they supposedly weren't available, Jules hauls out a "zip disk" which unfortunately (due to the magic of loose continuity) must remain uncoded because Uncle Chuck was recaptured and is now residing on a junk pile with Lupe and family. As Elias quotes from "Gone With The Wind" the seemingly interminable story arc is over. And frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a.... HEAD: Ken Penders shouldn't have had to go through so much hoo-ha just to tell a simple story: what happened to Jules and Bernie. It could have been handled in two stories, tops! Somewhere along the way, though, things multiplied and what should have been simplicity itself was subverted. Page 4 symbolizes the problem here, where we encounter a flashback (Chuck's) within a flashback (Jules's). Ken probably had started out simply but the job became more and more impossible as the cover story (the touchstone for each issue) kept wavering. As a result, the whole thing degenerated into a muddle by the end. Head Score: 3. EYE: Chris Allan does a good job with the key "roboticizing of Bernie" sequence, but some of the other characters (Tails, Elias, Antoine) suffer from having incredibly huge eyes. The reunion scene was also handled well, given the limitation of showing two bots displaying affection. Eye Score: 7. HEART: This should NEVER have been a campfire story told to the group. But the original set-up, "For Better Or Worse," (S77), dictated that it be so. Ideally, Ken should have waited for a more opportune moment to plug a decent version of the story into the book. That story would have had Jules and Bernie recounting their history to an audience of one: Sonic. Come on, people, don't you think that at SOME point Sonic would've asked his parents what had happened to them? It was a question that begged to be answered ever since Jules and Bernie made their first appearance in "Brave New World," furcryinoutloud! But no, Ken has them telling their story to everyone BUT Sonic! I'm convinced it's all part of Sega's plot to keep Sonic emotionally neutered. And the arc ended up taking so many other directions, such as the single combat involving King Acorn, that I have to wonder how many readers stayed with Ken to this, the bitter end. Had Ken kept it simple, it could have been far more powerful IMHO. But that's just me. Heart Score: 3. Sonic-Grams: More interesting that the funny but routine "Off-Panel" is the Sonic-Grams explanation of why the one in the last issue was a rerun: "Printing problem. It happens." Suuure, Fred. Why do I think that Gallagher went and got smacked down for perpetrating humor relating to a forbidden subject? I'm thinking he tried to sneak in a Pokemon joke here. Letters, blurb for #80, no fan or pro art. Lupe fans can take heart from the response to Kim Bratton's letter; deroboticization may not be in the cards for Bunnie, but the door has been left open for Uncle Chuck, Lupe et al. And next month we get to see nobody's favorite mammoth cross-dressing as Xena again.