You know you are addicted to the Internet when...
*Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
*Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
*You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
*You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone
lines.
*You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular
modem and a laptop.
*All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection
to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.
*And even your night dreams are in HTML.
*You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word
processor.com
*You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you
just pulled the plug on a loved one.
*You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
*You start introducing yourself as "Jim at andrews dot edu"
*Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a
new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though
you've never had heart problems before.
*You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved
and you don't have a clue when it happened.
*You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if
new e-mail arrives.
*All of your friends have an @ in their names.
*When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all
of them are already highlighted in purple.
*Your dog has its own home page.
*You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through
Lycos.
*You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
*You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
*You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
*You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.
*You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.
*You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your
e-mail on the way back to bed.
*You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
*You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
*You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines
useless.
*You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...
because you never log off.
*You forget what year it is.
*You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
*You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain.
*You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed
to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."
*As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your
first instinct is to search for the "back" button.