Sonic the Hedgehog #138 [Sep 2004]
     Pat Spaziante cover: Bold design, little nuance, mostly
happy characters.  I think they put this on the wrong comic.

     Axer/Jensen frontispiece: now we're in more familiar
territory: more artistic nuance and not as much happiness.

     "Return to Angel Island : Part 1 : The Message"
     Story: Karl Bollers; Art: Jonathan Gray; Ink: Mike Higgins;
Color: Jason Jensen; Lettering: Mike Higgins; Editor: Mike
Pellerito, Managing Editor: Victor Gorelick; Editor-in-Chief:
Richard Goldwater.

     Turns out King Max and Queen Alicia haven't left yet on
their Round The World Tour.  In addition to making sure that
their mail is being put on hold, he takes the time to give his
daughter a thorough bawling-out for taking part in the Tommy The
Turtle story arc.  I can't say as I blame him.  
     After the most begrudging of apologies, Sally and Sonic take
up the fight on their own.  When Sonic tries to get it across to
Sally that he tried to intervene on her behalf because he cared
about her, Karl has Sally go ballistic: "Well, STOP caring! 
Okay?"  She then settles any doubts about where the relationship
is going with a speech that has to be quoted in full to be
believed: "Why keep fooling ourselves when we know it can never
work?  I'm a princess, Sonic.  I need a companion to rule by my
side, not someone who's constantly playing hero.  I'm sorry, but
you heard what the King said   I have an entire city to run.  Too
much is at stake.  It's over between us."


     You know what?   Screw this!
     I've been disappointed by this comic in the 10 years or so
I've been following it, I've been frustrated by it, I've been
angered by it, I've occasionally been surprised by it.  But two
pages into this story and I've reached a turning point: I
actually HATE this comic.  And I don't think that's too strong a
word.
     So I'm packing it in.  I'm taking Sally's advice: I've
stopped caring.
     What's the point of reviewing the comics anyway?  I can't
tell the Sonic fans what to like and what not to like.  And it's
not as if anyone in Editorial or the creatives are taking
anything I've said over the past decade to heart.
     But the comic just doesn't work for me any more, and it has
nothing to do with the artwork (mostly what I remember are the
abominations such as "Naugus Games" anyway) or the writing per
se.  What's happened is that I don't know these characters any
more, and frankly I don't WANT to know them.
     I find myself stuck in the fandom liking the characters I
came to know through the SatAM series and the early years of the
comic when the cartoon continuity was still a guiding factor. 
The comic has simply made hash out of all that.  Karl Bollers has
done his bit by turning up the darkness level on Antoine, arming
Bunnie, consequently splitting up the two with no explanation as
to why, and cursing Sally with such a bad case of mood swings
that I expect her to announce she's pregnant.  The faux-Romy
Chacon has written stories that display little or no grasp of
characterization except for what's handed to him/her on a plate. 
And Ken Penders with his All Grown Up(tm) take on the characters
simply digs the grave that much deeper.
     I mean, I tried jumping past "The Message" when I felt
myself wanting to walk away from the comic.  So I turned to
"Mobius 25 Years Later: My Dinner With Sonic" [Story: Ken
Penders; Art: Steven Butler; Ink: Jim Amash; Coloring: Jason
Jensen; Lettering: John E. Workman] and what's the first thing I
see?  Sally and Julie-Su doing cheesecake poses in bathing suits
(I'm sure Archie Management had something to do with the fact
that they're one-piece bathing suits).  There was a time when I
might have been entertained by that.  Instead I had SUCH a
flashback to Mike Gallagher's "Thor Loser" from Sabrina #28, the
story that led up to his "Some Enchantra Evening, Part 1" in the
same issue.  "Thor" featured Sabrina's Aunts Hilda and Zelda
wearing swimsuits at one point because ... well, for not much
reason but it gave Dan DeCarlo an excuse to draw them wearing
swimsuits.  I think that's when I REALLY knew it was time for me
to go.
     My current relationship to the Sonic fandom can be summed up
in a line from a M*A*S*H episode, one of several shot in black-
and-white to try and simulate 1950s newsreel footage.  When being
interviewed, Corporal Klinger at one point says: "I hate the damn
Army, but I love the people."  That's how I feel now: I hate what
the comic has done to the characters, but I still have an abiding
love for the characters.
     What I don't have any more is patience or hope that the book
will ever get better.  Granted that this represents the comic
hitting rock bottom for me, and theoretically there's nowhere
else to go but up.  However, the word on the Net is that it may
take a year or so for Mike Pellerito to bring some order out of
the kind of editorial chaos that's been on display.  After 10
years with this comic I don't have the heart to hang around that
long.
     Maybe it's just part of a Late Mid-Life Crisis for me, I
don't know.  I'm 52 years old, which is certainly closer to my
USE BY date than just about anyone else in the fandom.  And an
objective look at the emotional return-on-investment from reading
the comic tells me that I simply can't afford to do this anymore.
     On the homefront, my wife has been extremely supportive ...
of my getting out.  She's always thought that the time I spent
writing Sonic comic reviews and even fanfic could have better
been channeled into other avenues (which is to say, I could have
been writing stuff that people would pay for).  And maybe she's
right: maybe it's time to put away childish things.
     So I'm giving myself some time off to make up my mind on
some things.  I've got three more issues before my subscription
lapses, and I'll know by then whether or not to renew (put your
money on NOT).  And I'll decide by the end of July whether or not
to make the campus computer people happy by cleaning some space
off the university server and deleting the review archives.  I'll
also have figured out whether to keep or dispose of my back
issues.
     Will I come back when the comic gets better?  That's the
point; I no longer believe that it WILL get better.  In a recent
e-mail, Ken Penders ended up telling me absolutely nothing about
an upcoming story he submitted.  He did assure me that the story
isn't fluff despite the title: "Sonic's Angels."  Do you have any
idea how hard I had to work to keep my gag reflex from kicking in
when I read the title?
     This comic ... I ... just screw it.