Sonic #95 [May 2001] Spaz/Harvo/J. D. Ray cover: Word is that Spaz wasn't too pleased with this cover; that it was produced on a short deadline with not much info about the story to go on. Goes to show you some people do good work under pressure and Pat Spaziante is one of them. "Enemy Mine" Story: Karl Bollers; Art: Jim Fry; Ink: Pam Eklund and Jim Amash; Color: Frank Gagliardo; Lettering: Jeff Powell; Editor/Art Director: Justin F. Gabrie; Managing Editor: Victor Gorelick; Editor In Chief: Richard Goldwater. It's "class dismissed" at Knothole High. As the escapees head out the door, Sonic shears away from the pack and arrives at Sally's place just as the changing of the guards is happening. Why do I hear the "O-E-Oh" chant from the "Wizard of Oz" when I look at this sequence? Probably because I'm a Baby Boomer, but let that pass. Speaking of passes, Sonic doesn't get one and is barred at the door by Geoffrey. OK, I'm a sucker for a good family reunion scene but the reuniting of Snively and his alleged father Colin is SO wrong! I didn't buy it for an instant! Maybe it's because Snively is this short, twerpy, lightbulb-headed, needle-nosed lackey and Colin ... well, the square-jawed, hunky-looking Colin bears no resemblance whatsoever to him. Like I said, I'm still waiting for the results of the DNA test. Meanwhile, having discovered that Uma and the Sword have disappeared, Kodos can think of nothing better to do than to come down with a case of rabies. But like any good dictator, Robotnik is on top of the law and order situation. Kodos doesn't even get to dismember any bots before he's more or less driven out of town to public acclaim. If the bots had actually wasted Kodos Robotnik probably would've gotten a parade in his honor ... and I'd have supplied the confetti. Sonic is on his way home when he notices Tails's book bag ditched by the side of the road. Neat trick because Tails was actually IN SCHOOL when he was abducted by Athair in S94's "New Order." Then again, Tails was looking for it when he was spirited away so maybe this is Athair's idea of a calling card left for Sonic's benefit. But this little bit of business illustrates just what's gone wrong with the comic. For the sight of this otherwise ominous omen does NOTHING for Sonic! I mean, come on! Sonic and Tails have always been best buds, fiercely loyal to each other. Sonic began "Growing Pains: Part 1" by trying to apologize to Tails for beating up on him in "Saturday Night's All Right For A Fight" (S28). It was their tried-and-true friendship that prevented them from hacking each other to pieces in the proxy fight between Horizont Al and Verti Cal in "Opposites Detract" (S59). And the two of them bonded almost instantly when Tails was only a few minutes old in Mike Gallagher's "Eve of Destruction" (SSS9). It would seem that in their effort to retool the comic continuity (by such touches as depicting Knothole not as a hidden redoubt but as an improbable kingdom-in-exile, as well as jazzing with the Sonic-Sally relationship), the editors and writers are clearing out good ideas to make room for bad ones. That would mean that the bit in "New Order" where Tails uncharacteristically rags on Sonic for liking Sally was no accident. If anything, it was a pretext to see to it that Sonic STOPS CARING ABOUT TAILS! Notice that he never gives T2 a second thought for the rest of the story! If this were a fanfic that someone had sent to me for my $.02, I'd find myself writing "OOC" in the margin at this point; "OOC" is short for "Out Of Character." And having someone break character like that is IMHO The Unpardonable Sin of writers. That night, Sonic sneaks out of the house. Is he going to: 1. Look for Tails? 2. Try visiting Sally? 3. Suddenly worry about the Overlanders who crash-landed on the planet a month and a half before and about whom he hasn't said word one since but whose welfare is now the uppermost concern on his mind for no particular reason? If you guessed "3" you, too, can earn next to nothing writing for Archie Comics. To add an air of legitimacy to this excursion, Bunnie comes along for the ride. After an aerial recon of Robotropolis, which appears to be peaceful enough, Sonic and Bunnie are on their way back home when they hear what turns out to be Kodos and Arachnis mixing it up in the Great Forest. Just at that moment, Karl cuts away to Robotnik and Snively as the former unveils ... I don't know. A new and improved Shadow-Bot (if you believe the blurb for S96)? A new-style roboticized hyoomon? A Gundam suit? We'll just have to wait and see. So what else is new? Meanwhile, we get a page of exposition between Hope and Agnes. It doesn't tell any of us readers anything we don't already know, but it's the only page so far in this story that actually WORKED for me! Back at the fight, Sonic and Bunnie try to intervene with negligible results. That's surprising, especially for Bunnie, but what's even more surprising is that Sonic then tells Bunnie (who could very easily have acquitted herself more honorably if Kodos hadn't tricked her) to get lost [OOC]. Which she does [OOC]. Sonic doesn't immediately engage Kodos in battle, however. The big guy's sort of wandered off, but is soon back and ambushing Sonic, who somehow or other (it's pretty confusing) winds up in one of Uma's webs. With Sonic trapped and about to get the axe from Kodos, Uma herself intervenes, mops up the forest floor with Kodos (he's still not dead, unfortunately), cuts Sonic loose, and disappears. As Sonic can think of nothing better to do than lug Kodos ... somewhere or other ... we pan in the final shot not to the Sword but to what appear to be a number of egg sacs in a nearby tree. I don't know about Mobian ninja spiders, but the only other famous spider I know of, E. B. White's Charlotte A. Cavatica, only produced one egg sac. Which contained well over a hundred eggs. HEAD: I wanted to like this story, I really really did! And there are parts that work despite my misgivings, particularly the scene between Hope and Agnes. But what does it say when only one page out of 16 of a story is worth the effort to read it? This story gave me one more reason to hate loose continuity as practiced in this comic: lack of motivation. Why, for instance, is Geoffrey keeping the royal family under lock and key? That's been a topic of some speculation on Ken Penders's message board. Which is all well and good but I'd appreciate an actual ANSWER, sooner rather than later. For the moment, we have no idea what Geoff has in mind. This is supposed to engender suspense; instead, it has only bred confusion. Some have speculated, as Sonic does on page [8], that "Sally's gonna start datin' Geoffrey." Swell, but there's no EVIDENCE that that's what's going on. It would be just as probable that Sally has nothing to worry about because Geoff is secretly queer for Elias! Then there's Kodos. What made him go ape-crap all of a sudden? Why, "radiation." Oh. Wait a minute! WHAT radiation? The radiation from ... something or other. But it was referred to as "radiation" in the blurb for S95 that appeared in the comic preview media! Why didn't Karl say anything about it in the story? Once again, readers are left to speculate. Did Kodos flip out because he discovered that the Sword had been stolen, or had he simply missed his distemper shots? And then there are all those OOC moments, plus one I haven't mentioned yet. It features what Mark Lungo described as probably the worst line of dialogue ever to appear in a Sonic comic. It's certainly in the running for the Worst Dialogue award on my 2001 Best/Worst List. On page [8] panel 4 Sonic and Bunnie are investigating the disturbance in the forest, Sonic guesses (wrongly) that Robotnik has something to do with it, and Bunnie says: "Boy, you sure hate 'im, huh?" Never mind that Bunnie has her own issues with Robotnik, as expressed in "Fort-ified" (S26). In order to come up with this line the parties responsible have had to conveniently forget practically the entire run of the comic, or at least every issue back to "Rabbot Deployment" where Bunnie makes her entrance. Since then, for almost EIGHT FREAKIN' YEARS, Bunnie and Sonic have been fighting side by side. She shouldn't have to GUESS as to Sonic's opinion of Robotnik! Yet for whatever reason (To fill blank space in a panel? To have Bunnie listen to herself talk?), they insist on having her ask this truly stupid question! Ladies and gentlemen, we have passed the point of "loose continuity." This qualifies as Falling Apart Continuity. But let me not be accused of throwing around criticisms without offering to help. I read this story with a critical eye, wondering what could have been done to save it. Allow me to lay out what I would have done differently if I were editing the comic and these pages had landed on my desk: 1. LOSE THE CAPTION BOXES. I'd like you to interrupt your reading of this review for a few minutes. Go back and read "Enemy Mine," all the while skipping over all those bubble gum pink caption boxes. I'll wait. So, did you miss them? I didn't think so. Maybe TWO boxes were actually NECESSARY to the narrative flow of the story. What the Japanese discovered in the late 1940s, when a young med student named Osamu Tezuka started drawing comics and literally reinvented the genre, was that the pictures can carry a lot of the narrative weight. The word balloons don't have to do all the work. That was only natural since Tezuka's comic panels looked more like motion picture storyboard illustrations. And the much- vaunted ten-year-old demographic has watched enough movies and television that I'll bet they could have figured out this story without the caption boxes, too. Leaving out the caption boxes also would have gone a long way toward leaving out some of the worst of the bad writing that crept into this story, such as Sonic's thinking that Tails was better off without him, Bunnie's line "No need for sass" (the meaning of which has also been debated on Ken's message board), and especially Sonic's thinking that Uma was preparing "to open a can o' whup-butt on me," which is a pretty clumsy phrase after having been bowdlerized. Better to have left the whole thing out. 2. KNOW YOUR CHARACTERS. If I had my way, I'd sentence the editors and writers of the comic to spend 12 straight hours watching reruns of M*A*S*H. Simply because the show was a great example of both character use and ensemble writing. OK, not every character was in every episode, but when they were they were done right. Here, Sonic is seriously OOC. Why is he more interested in the plight of the O's than the fate of Tails, whom even Jules and Bernie would have missed when he didn't show up for supper? Why is Sonic yelling at Bunnie? Archie Comics routinely hands a new creative 4 or 5 issues and expects them to come up to speed on that basis alone. I feel that Archie is being too stingy: give the newcomers one copy of EVERY AVAILABLE BACK ISSUE, AS FAR BACK AS INVENTORY ALLOWS, and send every creative a complimentary issue of the comic to keep them up to speed. It's not like they can't afford it or they're in danger of running out. Or am I wrong in assuming that the Powers That Be want their people to do the job right? 3. REWRITE! Having gotten a true feel for the characters, go back and take another run at the dialogue. For instance, change the dialogue on page 6 panel 5 to read: SONIC: Tails is missing. I don't know where he is, but I'm gonna scope out Robo-city just in case, and don't try to stop me! BUNNIE: Stop you!? No way, Sugar-hog! Count me in! Or words to that effect. Likewise, the bottom of page 7. BUNNIE: No sign of him in town, Sonic. SONIC: Yeah...It just doesn't figure.... Top of Page 8: SONIC: It's like he vanished or something. BUNNIE: Ah shore hope he's OK. Middle of Page 8: BUNNIE: Careful, Sugar-Hog. SONIC: Hey, chill! This is just like old times.... Finally, redraw the bottom of page 13 so that Bunnie is still recovering when Kodos lopes off. SONIC: I'm goin' after Kodos. You gonna be OK? BUNNIE: Ah will be in a minute. Y'all go on ahead; he won't fool this good ol' girl TWICE! That also means that Bunnie will be available to help Sonic drag the unconscious Kodos back to .. wherever. I mean, since when did Sonic become strong enough to do THAT? Rewriting (also known as "doctoring") the script accomplishes several things: it refocuses the readers' sympathies toward Sonic's wondering what happened to Tails (even though the readers learn the answer themselves), it avoids the use of first- person-singular caption boxes (about which I believe I've made my case), and it keeps Sonic from looking like a jerk because he yelled at Bunnie. I'm no comic book professional, but I like to think that I know what works and I feel that this WORKS! Karl Bollers and I may simply have to agree to disagree on that point, but I came away from "Enemy Mine" feeling that this story needed retooling so badly I had to say something. Head Score: 4. EYE: By now, you've probably heard that Jim Fry has been relieved of penciling duties for the Sonic comic. The reason: inability to meet deadline, which probably explains why this story has two inkers. I've liked Fry's art ever since his debut, and as far as I'm concerned he'll be missed. Yet I can't help but feel that Archie may have set Fry up for a fall by setting unrealistically short deadlines. I have no problems with Jim's artwork as a whole here, particularly in the scene on page 11 between Hope and Agnes. And as someone who's had his doubts about the presence of hyoomons in the book ever since "Endgame" that's saying something! It's a really great page, with not a false note in it. I like to think that this will be part of Fry's legacy. I wish I could say the same for Bunnie's new look. I hope and pray that Fry didn't dream up that trashy outfit himself and that it was an "editorial edict." What were they thinking?!? I actually received the following e-mail the day I started writing this review: Mr. Drazen, Perhaps you could be the one to enlighten me as to why the character of Bunnie Rabbot has, in the recent issue #95 of the Sonic the Hedgehog comic, donned attire that makes it appear as though she should be asking Sonic if he wants a hot date this evening? Not one of my comrades can figure it out either. Sincerely, Christopher Sweeters My answer to Chris was: "You tell me and we'll both know." There is no reason whatsoever for Bunnie to be wearing this hillbilly-hooker-redneck-chic-Jerry-Springer-guest-bimbo schmatte. Unless this is someone's idea of a substitute for Spandex. Well, already I'm sick of it, and of the mentality it represents: that of Editorial's trying so hard to distance the comic from the SatAM continuity that they're frankly ruining it. It's about time we fans started taking the comic back. So let's start by lobbying for a change of clothes for Bunnie. If you're a fan artist, or if you simply think you can do better, let's let Archie know about it. Send a drawing of Bunnie in a better outfit. Send 5 drawings. Send your whole portfolio. And let's send them to the man in charge of decisions of this kind; send your drawings to: Justin Gabrie Art Director Archie Comic Publications P.O. Box 573 Mamaroneck, NY 10543-0573 Every drawing Justin receives will be our small way of saying: "This sucks; change it!" Eye Score: 8. HEART: This is where the accumulated OOC sins come together. Sonic simply isn't himself: apathetic about Tails's disappearance, snapping at Bunnie. It's making it easier and easier for the fans not to care. And that can be very dangerous. Narrative writing, to some extent, is a little like playing the slots. Whether dollar slots or nickel slots, the rule is that a machine HAS to pay off at some point; otherwise the average player will walk away and the only ones still pumping coin into the slots will be the hardcores, the addicts, the compulsive gamblers. I'm afraid this is what's happening to the comic. Sonic's relationship with Sally is a wreck, Knothole's been retooled, Tails is gone, and there's been no payoff for the reader since ... well, speaking for myself, not since S89's "Thicker Than Water" and the Acorn family reunion. Let me slip back into Editorial mode once more and say that if I were working with the creatives, I'd request that there be SOME kind of payoff every 3 or 4 issues, and that the story arcs themselves would only be that long; no more open-ended continuity. It makes it too easy for the dissatisfied customers to walk away, leaving the comic to hardcores such as myself. And I don't think anyone at Mamaroneck wants THAT. Heart Score: 5. "When Destiny Calls" Story: Ken Penders; Art: Ron Lim; Ink: Ken Penders; Color: Frank Gagliardo; Lettering: Vickie Williams. When Knuckles phased himself out of the story at the end of "The Best-Laid Plans" (S94), who knew he'd phase in "on a lonely mountaintop on the other side of the world"? Apparently he wanted to deaden whatever pain he's feeling and thought to apply a cold pack and sort of got carried away. Doesn't seem to be helping, in any event. But even though he doesn't know what's happening he knows who's behind it: "Can't believe Dad would put me through the ringer..." OK, for the benefit of those of you who are looking at that sentence and wondering what the heck Knuckles is talking about, time for a brief history lesson: Before automatic washing machines developed to the point of having baskets on the inside that spun clothes fast enough to extract the maximum amount of water by centrifugal force, old time washing machines (as well as pre-motorized wash tubs) were sometimes equipped with wringers (not "ringers"). These were a pair of wooden or rubber rollers operated either by a crank or by a drive belt connected to the washing machine motor. The person washing clothes would feed the wet clothes between the rollers and wring the excess water out of them before hanging them on a clothes line to dry. Good grief!: this stuff was common knowledge to people from my parents' generation and I feel like I'm talking about life in ancient Mesopotamia! This isn't the first time Ken has been tripped up by a verbal anachronism. In the first issue of "The Lost Ones" Agent Sikorsky refers to his sidearm as a "revolver." This despite the fact that nothing about it revolves. A true revolver is a handgun with a revolving chamber that holds a number of cartridges (such as 6; hence the term "six-shooter") which revolves to move a fresh cartridge into place when one has been fired. The usage of "revolver" as synonymous with "handgun" became obsolete with the invention of the magazine clip ... but I digress. In any event, Tails arrives on the scene courtesy of Athair, whose spectral presence is looking over his shoulder. When Tails wonders what's happening to Knuckles, there's the following exchange: ATHAIR: He's evolving, child! That was the plan! TAILS: Plan?!! Why would anyone plan to intentionally hurt someone? Which is what I was thinking. Tails tries talking to Knuckles who, with a shriek of pain and a burst of energy, transports himself to the Floating Island (which has slipped down into a polar orbit). Thanks to some more pyrotechnics, Tails locates Knuckles underground. Knux then reverts to his old habit of clobbering anything that moves. One energy burst knocks Tails out, burying him under rubble. Athair then refers Tails's case to Merlin Prower, last seen in a flashback in "Stop ... Sonic Time!" (SSS5). The first order of business is bed rest and potions, but this is delayed by an exchange between Merlin and Athair. The former is told he must "call forth" "The Chosen One," but Merlin has his reservation. Athair counters by saying that with Knuckles in the shape he's in there aren't a whole lotta options. Besides, we are told The Ancient Walkers are "dying," and I don't think that clapping and saying "I believe!" is enough to snap them out of it. We're left with the impression that The Chosen One is another name for Turbo Tails. Maybe. You know how coy Ken can be. HEAD: The good news is, we now have a better idea of Knuckles's condition. The bad news is, it ain't good. It's interesting that this is happening not simply as a result of Chaos energy overload caused by Charmy and Safron jazzing with the Chaos Syphon in "The Best-Laid Plans" (S94), but more or less by design on Locke's part. I always did have my doubts about his parenting skills, and this proves it. As for Tails, he's become something of a Designated Puppy in this story. On certain TV shows, there have been characters who, it seemed to me, play the part of a puppy who serves no real purpose in the script except to be kicked on a regular basis so that we'll feel sorry for him. On "St. Elsewhere" it was Dr. Jack Morrison (David Morse). On "LA Law" it was Michael Tucker as Stuart Markowitz; at one point Stuart suffered brain damage as a result of being pulled from his car and beaten Reginald Denny- style during the Rodney King riots. So now Tails is playing the Kicked Puppy, having been rendered unconscious because he was trying to help Knuckles. Based on the title of the next installment, this bout of unconsciousness will be considerably shorter than that suffered by Queen Alicia. Keep in mind, when reading this story arc, that when Ken wrote it for the Knuckles comic it was originally 66 pages long. It's now been reduced to 24. So far, it shows far more judicious editing that the final installment of "Endgame" when IT had to be cut down to size. There's no sense of anything either hurried or superfluous. I think it's safe to say Ken has learned his lesson from past experience. Head Score: 9. EYE: The best I can say of Ron Lim's artwork is that it's passable. Knuckles is on-model, as is Tails (though he's got that too-long headfur thing happening again, as when Ron drew him in the Sonic Adventure Special (SSS13)). I wish I could say the same for his depiction of Merlin Prower. I don't know about Merlin. Maybe it's because he hasn't been around all that much. Of course, Pat Spaziante set the bar when he drew Merlin for "Knuckles's Quest #2" (Sonic Live Special) and his drawing of the character even managed to outshine the work by Art Mawhinney. At least Ron will have Spaz acting as backup when he starts doing artwork in place of Fry. Eye Score: 6. HEART: Some fans have questioned the plot point about the Ancient Walkers "dying." Aren't they, like, deities and they're not supposed to do that? Maybe, but the death of gods is not a totally unknown concept. What was erroneously translated from Norse to German as "Gotterdammerung," the "twilight of the gods," is known in Norse mythology as "Ragnarok": "the end of the powers." As apocalyptic scenarios go, it's pretty intense. It features the Fimbulvetr or the terrible winter: three hard winters in a row with no summer inbetween (sounds like Minnesota to me), the sun is devoured by the wolf Skoll while the moon is consumed by his brother Hati, the writhing of the Midgard Serpent will cause massive tidal waves ... but on to the gods. Much to Stan Lee's dismay, Thor will fight the Midgard serpent to the death but will himself die from the serpent's venom. Loki and Heimdall will also end up killing each other, and (cutting to the chase) those gods and heroes who survive all THAT will be incinerated by the fire giant Surt. Bottom line: it's not outside the realm of possibility for the Ancient Walkers to die, but let's hope it's at least as spectacular a finish as Ragnarok. But it's not death that interests me about this story so much as pain: what Knuckles is going through, whether Locke intended it or not (and my guess is he didn't even think about it). I've always been leery of the popular notion of evolution as a one-way escalator going up. As we're only now starting to learn about the cloning of higher life forms, there are no guarantees, there are way fewer hits than misses, and what was referred to in one ep of Star Trek: The Next Generation as "replicative fading" (think of it as trying to read a photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy of a document) may be a very real possibility. A recent study of cloning at the University of California at Chino revealed that something like 2/3 of the cloned embryos didn't survive, so the University has slowed the pace of the research. Locke may himself be the victim of scientific hubris, but it's his son who's paying the toll. And while the Dark Legion may have screwed things up by zapping Locke and everyone else on the Floating Island to another dimension, Knuckles is still stuck with turning into the echidna version of The Incredible Hulk. And it's only going to get worse, boys and girls. Whether Knuckles is the Ultimate Villain of Sonic #100 or not, don't expect him to start acting like himself any time soon. Ken, while in Cryptic mode, has hinted in the past that Knuckles is going to have to go through a long stretch of Hell before things get better. That means we'll have to make the trip with him. Not something I'm looking forward to. Heart Score: 5. Sonic-Grams: Now that he's pretty much been reduced to Back Story Head Writer, Archie's making it up to Ken Penders by having him answer the mail. The fact that Ken starts off by giving the fans TWO e-mail addys where he can be reached tells you something about his eagerness to accept the assignment. Ken has readily embraced the Internet as a wide-open communications medium, right down to putting up his own Web site. I get the feeling that the editors at Archie would prefer that the readers keep those cards, letters, artwork and e-mails to themselves! Ken demonstrates to Tabitha Verduzco that he can supply a non-answer along with the best of them: "Knuckles and Sally were never really best friends, so much as they were 'special' friends." Glad he cleared THAT up. Blurb for S96: The device on page [10] of "Enemy Mine" is apparently the Shadow-Bot referred to. I'd like to know where the "horde of Overlanders" is coming from, unless that's just more hype. Haven't seen anything like a horde so far. But that's loose continuity for ya.