Sonic Universe #32 (Nov 2011)

Yardley!/Workman/Hunzeker cover: Bland On The Run. Or is that too Seventies for this crowd?

“Inside Job: Part 4: No Holds Barred”

Story: Ian Flynn; Art: Tracy Yardley!; Ink: Jim Amash; Color: Steve Downer; Lettering: Phil Felix; Editor: Paul Kaminski; Editor-in-Chief: Victor Gorelick; Lead Bloodhound: Mike Pellerito; Sega Licensing rep: Cindy Chau

Znively finally gets a call in to Warden Zobotnik to report that (sing it with me) “There’s a riot goin’ on/Down in Cell Block Number Nine!” though the double splash page makes it look more like Gradeschoolers Gone Wild. In your average jailbreak story, the primary objective is: get out. What WE get is three pages of Scourge pounding the crap out of other inmates until one of his own troops, Sgt. Simian, reminds him to home in on something besides his own agenda. So he sends out for the comic relief; you know who THEY are.

Fiona, meanwhile, is focused enough to head for where their personal effects have been stored and discovers that someone/Jeffy has absconded with them.

Now we cut to Al and Cal, who are brought before Scourge so that Simian can personally break their restraining collars. And surprise surprise, turns out those collars actually did something for them: it kept them from morphing into their mecha forms from back in S59’s “Opposites Detract.” Scourge seems to think that they’ll blast their way out of the jail and into the yard instead of, say, destroying each other which was the whole point of “Opposites Detract” but try telling anything to Scourge. Anyway, Mech and Mecha oblige by blasting a hole in a wall and Scourge gets back to the business of beating up the other kids in the playground until Fiona reports in.

Scourge isn’t too keen on “my big comeback” being brought down, and Lightning Lynx dishes up seconds on the bad news by reporting that Zone cops are on the way. So Scourge has to momentarily bag his revenge fantasies and exercise some leadership. First he drops a spoiler of his very own by telling Lightning to “keep an ear out for anyone having trouble with the warp ring.” And this comes 4 pages before the ring itself is shown. Then Predator Hawk is supposed to hunt down whoever has the ring, hobbits not included. As for Scourge, he‘s going to go … back inside the jail and resume beating up on people. This includes a one-page recap by him of his bragging on the first page of the first part of this arc. Yeah, yeah, we know you’re a badass. Don’t ask me why this guy has a fanbase; that’s comic books for you.

Meanwhile, Jeff is showing off his acquisitions to Maxx who’s looking forward to his own comeback while Jeff is looking forward to sticking his loyalty between Maxx’s ribs at the first opportunity. At this point the warp ring puts in an appearance, followed shortly thereafter by the Destructix. This includes an exchange that is as close as any Archie comic will ever get to sexual kinkiness:

FLYING FROG: “Your clothes, m’lady. And I won’t try to wear them this time.”

FIONA: “…We don’t have enough time for me to smack some sense into you.”

FLYING FROG: “More’s the pity.”

Having given a nod to cross-dressing and sadomasochism, we look in on the Zone cops subduing Muck and Mucka and pretty much the rest of the prison population as well, except for Scourge. How convenient. It occurs to me that, in the time it took for Scourge to blab his way through his dialogue with Hat and Hatter during this scene, one sniper with the authority to use deadly force could have taken a shot and we’d have a whole new story. Instead Scourge finds his way to the Destructix and they all use the warp ring to make their long-overdue escape.

“And so,” as the text box says, we get an establishing shot of the outside of the prison in the aftermath of the riot. This is also the FIRST TIME we get to see an exterior shot of the prison in the context of this story; the conceptual art that appeared in the Sonic Spin column of two issues back doesn’t count. We then get a page of Znively assessing the physical damage while Zonic lets us know that “the Prime Zone is a mess,” though he doesn’t specify whether this is before or after the undoing of Phase 1. As for Scourge, he and his motley crew are still on Moebius, hidden away in the “Grand Forest.” Why? Because our old psychotic friend, Dr. Finn, has subsidized breaking Scourge out of the slammer, that’s why. Scourge, of course, doesn’t care about that and wants to go rogue. But before we get a clear idea of which way the group as a whole is going to go…

We cut away to a tease for the NEXT story arc featuring the Babylon Rogues. Better start saving old newspapers to line the cage for THIS one!

HEAD: This story arc manages, by presenting the serious subtext of a jailbreak story, to wind up as an even bigger mess than “Treasure Team Tango.” That arc ended up as a gigantic game of keep-away as 4 groups of characters try to latch on to a Sol Emerald. Here, the stakes are higher and the fall is harder.

In reviewing this arc, you get the feeling that Editorial just wasn’t doing its job. The story seems simple enough: Scourge and gang break out of jail. That, however, could have been accomplished in only two issues, three tops. Was there really a need to bring the story to a dead stop in the middle to supply back stories for the members of the Destructix? It feels like padding.

Also, it is unconscionable to leave off an establishing shot of the prison itself until the end. That very first page of Scourge’s bragging on himself just didn’t have to be there, and could’ve been given over to giving the readers an idea of where Scourge is being held. That sort of detail is vital in a jailbreak story because it gives the reader some idea of what the main character will be up against. For instance, it really means something to have Colonel Saito, the commandant of the POW camp in “Bridge on the River Kwai” observe that “There is no barbed wire. No stockade. No watchtower. They are not necessary. We are an island in the jungle. Escape is impossible. You would die.” The jungle IS the prison. But when you’re depending on a cheesy gimmick such as a warp ring to manage the escape, I suppose you don’t have to work up a sweat about the prison itself.

The prison, let’s face it, is a joke. Honestly, ONLY in an Archie comic book could anybody get away with the idea of a coed prison. And cell bars that certain inmates can conveniently squeeze through. And restraining collars that only work when the story needs them to work. And useless character cameos to mask the thinness of the plot. And guards who mistreat the prisoners when they otherwise don’t seem to know what they’re doing. OK, that can be true to life, unfortunately. Still, of all the prisons that Scourge could’ve been held in, this one is no prison. I called it earlier: this is more like some nasty version of a school.

As for the business with King Maxx, his absence from Moebius would support the narrative that Scourge may be a bully but he’s not exactly world class; he’s an opportunist rather than someone possessing “mighty awesomeness.”

Finally, there are the players, none of whom merits the reader’s sympathies. More on that in the Heart section.

With some time and thought, someone could have done something with this arc. They could have established the difficulties of escaping. They could have set the story in a more conventional prison without the whole screwing-with-gravity business. They could have teased the contents of Scourge’s and Fiona’s personal effects a bit earlier and not had Scourge give the game away by mentioning the warp ring as soon as he did. Heck, they could have come up with an escape that wasn’t dependent on something as big of a no-brainer as a warp ring!

For instance, before the Destructix get to use the warp ring, they all disappear and materialize in Mammoth Mogul’s office (c.f. Sarge’s disappearing act two issues back; in fact, I could picture Sarge having a thought balloon: “Not again!”). Mogul informs the group that he was satisfied to keep them all “in storage,” but since they insisted on “destabilizing the environment” he had to pull them out of there. Scourge proceeds to give ol’ Fuzz Butt some lip, whereupon Mogul psychokinetically drops him to his knees. “You will grovel in my presence and you will thank me for the privilege!” He then reminds them all that they are ultimately his to use where and when he sees fit before he tells them to use the warp ring and go about their business. This way, Scourge gets to have the realization that he may be out of jail but he still isn’t free.

I like to think that the above scenario actually gives this arc some meaning when all is said and done. The muddled ending with its where-are-they-going-next ending is all tease and no satisfaction. This was just poor. Head Score: 2.

EYE: Aside from the two-page splash at the beginning where

it’s raining convicts, Tracy Yardley! doesn’t convince us we’re seeing a world with two gravitational planes, which is more of a gimmick than anything else. Stanley Kubrick managed it in “2001: A Space Odyssey” but only in small doses. Still good work from Yardley!, but once more it’s work in a lost cause. Eye Score: 8.

HEART: Speaking of Stanley Kubrick, I remember a review of “A Clockwork Orange” that pointed out that, in a film premised on the conflict between the individual and the omnipotent state, it’s natural for the audience to take the side of the individual. It becomes a problem, however, when the individual in question is a feral punk like the movie’s main character, the ultraviolent Alex. Or Scourge.

Scourge is cast against type as the hero of this story, which probably doomed it to failure. Archie has invested too much narrative capital in making us think that jail is exactly where a bully like Scourge belongs. But Ian’s idea of generating sympathy for Scourge consists of Scourge getting a taste of his own medicine; the bully gets bullied. And by the end of the story he’s STILL a bully.

Scourge was never really a convincing villain in this comic to begin with. Starting life as a black-leather-jacket-wearing anti-Sonic, he was eclipsed by Shadow and had to be reinvented as Scourge. The longer he keeps up this grade school bully on steroids act, however, the more shopworn his act is getting. Editorial seriously needs to rethink this product, and just having Fiona have a crush on him isn’t enough.

My suggestion: someone should take him down. I’m writing this review on October 20, 2011, a day where the news is dominated by the death of one of the world’s classic bullies, Moammar Ghadaffi. And now that Archie no longer has the CCA hanging over them, it’s possible for Ian and/or Editorial to figure out a way to lose this character. It’s not that hard to predict what Scourge’s trajectory would be; like James Cagney’s Cody Jarrett in “White Heat” and Al Pacino’s Tony Montana in “Scarface,” this is NOT a character who will hang it up when he reaches age 65 and retire to a condo in Boca Raton. Archie really ought to screw with someone’s life other than Sally’s for a change! Heart Score: 2.

Fan Art: It’s a Fiona Fest! Stephanie S. shows Tails and the Fiona Bot from happier times during the “Growing Pains” arc; Stephanie O. does a straight portrait; and Mitchell does a study in black and white of Fiona and her main man.

Fan Funnies: Thomas shows some love to Mephiles, though I don’t know how the concept of Employee of the Month applies inside the slammer unless you’re a prison snitch.

Fan Mail: Davie is told that Cream, who whined her way through Treasure Team Tango not so long ago, will be back in action in the Sonic comic soon (forewarned is forearmed); and wants to know who Fiona Fox is (Davie’s better off going online to the Mobius Encyclopedia or Sonic Wiki than asking Editorial) and is told that SonicX compilations aren’t in the cards at the moment. Noah asks whether an all-Off Panel compilation is possible, and shows more concern for Sally’s well-being than Editorial does. You’re not alone, Noah.

Sonic Spin: Editor Paul Kaminski spends most of his column flogging the NEXT Sonic Universe story arc rather than putting the one that just ended in perspective, which is the equivalent of pulling the sheet over the body and walking away. He then tells us that Tracy Yardley! is both writing and penciling the next story arc about “the Babylon Garden,” which is a quotation from “Sonic Riders” but which also, I’m sorry to say, sounds like the name of a Middle Eastern restaurant.

I just realized I didn’t mention the Off-Panel. Consider it mentioned. Punchline: Were-Sonic punches Scourge.