Summary: "Eggmanland" Written by: Alessandro Sanassi With thanks to: Seiji and Maringa J. Mikic Edited and with additional commentary by: Daniel J. Drazen [Note: My comments will appear in brackets.] The film begins with a lifeless Metal Sonic hanging in some sort of blue energy field. Dr. Eggman appears and says that Hyper Metal Sonic is his newest weapon to destroy Sonic. But the robot should be patient a little longer, until everything is prepared. With Eggman's last words, Metal Sonic's eyes come to life and start to glow with an evil red color. In the next scene we see an old owl, Ojisan, flying towards Sonic's headquarters in some sort of mini-plane that could use some serious repairs. [The name "Ojisan" literally means "old man" but could be translated as "Uncle", "Gramps", or most probably in this case, "Old Timer".] Said "headquarters" seem to be built in a jungle out of the wreckage of a satellite antenna, a Saturn rocket, two railway cars, the starship Enterprise [first series model], and a Boeing 747. Sonic is relaxing on the beach as Tails comes running excitedly out of the Boeing to show him the new rocket-powered surfboard he made himself. Tails asks Sonic if he would like to try it out, but Sonic declines the offer. So Tails jumps into the water by himself, while Sonic turns on his stereo and observes that the little fox is still a real kid. Tails powers up the surfboard, drenching Sonic in the process. While he zooms past, Tails demonstrates a few stunts and calls to his friend that even Sonic would have a lot of fun with this, although he [Sonic] can't swim. Sonic just lies back and tries to relax again. Ojisan's plane comes into view and Sonic hears Tails screaming. At first he is annoyed and yells at Tails to be quiet, until he realizes what's going on. Ojisan zooms right over Sonic with his plane, and after the sand has settled Tails want to know if Sonic's OK. Sonic says he is, rubbing his nose Bruce Lee-style. Looking around, he notices Ojisan's plane trailing smoke behind it. Tails wants Sonic to go help Ojisan immediately, but Sonic tells Tails to take care of it himself. Tails yells at Sonic that he finds this behavior very uncool, and flies off to rescue Ojisan. When Ojisan hears Tails' voice he starts making casual conversation with the little fox until Tails tells him that his engine is on fire. Tails makes an attemps to grab onto the plane but a small explosion hurls him away. The fox tries again, finally landing on the left wing, thus stabilizing the plane and tilting it to a level position. But then Tails notices that the plane is headed for the cliffs and tells this to the extremely- nearsighted Ojisan (I wonder how he ever got his pilot's license!). Tails screams for Sonic -- the same sound at the beginning of the 30-second .AVI video. Sonic runs along the cliff wall at top speed, saving both Tails and Ojisan [against a soundtrack of generic club dance music] just in time before the plane crashes. Tails thanks his blue bud: "Arigato, Sonikku!" On the ground, Ojisan begins telling Sonic that the President needs his help. Actually, Ojisan is talking to a blue flower with spikey petals that's about the same height as Sonic. [Tails smiles and puts one hand behind his head, a symbol in *manga* and *anime* that a character is embarrassed. For his part, Sonic touches the side of his head with his finger, a more universal gesture signifying that he thinks Ojisan is a couple eggs short of a full carton.] Tails tries to tell Ojisan that he's talking to a flower, without much success. So Sonic and Tails both board a biplane to travel to the Presidential Palace [Tails in the cockpit, Sonic standing on the top wing]. Ojisan waves good-bye and wishes them a safe journey, all the time facing the wrong way. In the palace an unpleasant surprise awaits our heroes: when Sonic asks why he was sent for, the occupant of the President's chair turns out to be Dr. Eggman. He says he's pleased to meet them again, and Tails asks what's happened to the President. By way of an answer, Eggman has his bots attack Sonic and Tails. The two destroy the bots in a Sonic second, and Sonic goes into a Spin Dash with the intent of returning Eggman's greeting in kind. He stops when he hears the voice of the President [a portly gentleman wearing a dress uniform] who is being held hostage along with his daughter Sera. [Both of these two are more human than furry -- Sera in particular sports a tail and cat ears, but this only makes her look like a cocktail waitress dressed as a cat.] Sonic and Tails jump up on top of the President's desk. Sonic demands to know what this is all about, and warns Eggman not to harm so much as one hair on his hostages' heads. Eggman only laughs and, after some small talk, produces a small spherical hologram of Sonic's world. He says that the planet consists of two parts: the outer layer is called "The Earth Of The Sky", a network of floating islands that hover above the planet, with the islands connected to each other by bridges. Sonic interrupts to say that he already knows this, and Eggman yells at him to be quiet. The inner sphere, Eggman continues, is called "The Earth of Darkness." On the surface of the Earth of Darkness is his technologically-advanced home city, Eggmanland. He lived there in peace until one day an enemy named Black-Eggman (a giant robot) appeared; he and his troop of bots conquered the city. Black-Eggman then turned the Egg-Generator, the main power plant for Eggmanland, up to full power and if it is not turned off before sunset it will explode and destroy the entire planet. At this point Eggman glances around and sees that everyone in the room (including his own bots) fell asleep during his monologue. He then sticks a pin into the spherical hologram, which then pops like a balloon; the sound is enough to wake everyone up. When the President asks what can be done to prevent the catastrophe, Eggman states that only Sonic the Hedgehog is fast enough to get to Eggmanland in time. Sonic, however, says that since Eggman built the city he should take care of his own little problem. The President pleads with Sonic to save Eggmanland for the good of the planet; Sera pleads with Sonic to do it for her. Hopping off the desk, Sonic declares that Eggman can't be trusted because 99% of everything he says is a lie. Tails points out that this means 1% of what he says is the truth. [Sonic can't argue with that kind of logic and] he agrees to do it. Eggman gives Tails a wrist-watch navigation system which will guide them to the Egg-Generator in Eggmanland. As they set out, Sonic wonders aloud whether Dr. Eggman can be trusted and Tails tries to reassure him. Meanwhile, Eggman and Sera play a fighting-style video game featuring representations of themselves; Sera always loses, throws a tantrum screaming "Yada yada yada!" [Not the same word as in the English "Blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda yackety shmackety"], and asks for a rematch. Eggman gets fed up but Sera threatens to quit being a hostage if he won't continue playing. At that moment, a giant robot crashes through the wall of the President's office; Sera is delighted by the diversion but Eggman doesn't like her jumping into the cockpit and pushing buttons. He tries to throw her out, ordering her not to touch anything, but the robot shuts them up inside and leaves. The President is confused and one of the bots holds up a sign saying: "Bye, Sera!" By now, Sonic and Tails have reached some kind of vortex in the clouds; it appears to be the entrance to The Earth of Darkness. Tails flies the biplane into it and it is all Sonic can do to maintain his grip on the wing. The plane finally makes a crash landing, flipping over on impact. Sonic calls out to Tails to see if he's alright; Tails says he's OK and asks Sonic to have a look around. "So this is the Earth of Darkness...." Tails checks out the wrist device to determine their direction of travel; Sonic asks "What are we waiting for?" After passing several obstacles (spikes emerging from the ground, a Caterkiller, some BuzzBombers) Sonic wonders whether this isn't really a set-up because of the number of traps. Tails again assures him that they're headed in the right direction. Sonic goes into the figure-8 move to gain speed, and they both disappear through some kind of warp portal. They emerge, exhausted, on the street of an apparently-deserted city -- some kind of post-apocalypse New York City complete with wrecked cars and traffic signs. Sonic looks around astonished and wants to know where they are, since he'd never heard of any place like this on the Earth of Darkness. Tails says he doesn't know where they are, but they still seem to be headed in the right direction. He suggests going up higher for a better look. Sonic agrees and they zip to the top of an Empire State Building-like skyscraper; from there they see that the city is gradually being overtaken by the sea and will eventually be underwater. Tails guesses that this could be caused by the Egg-Generator and says that they should hurry up. There's a lightning flash; Tails is afraid of lightning and fearfully hugs Sonic in a very nice scene. Moments later both of them are on their way again when there's an explosion directly in front of them which sweeps them off their feet. Sonic executes a few back flips and lands on his feet; Tails lands on his head. A giant robot appears; Tails cries out in horror that this must be the mysterious Black-Eggman. The robot confirms this and congratulate the two on making it this far...to their grave. Tails quakes in fear, his tails tucked between his legs, but Sonic keeps his cool and remains unimpressed. He says he's not interested in playing with the robot. The robot responds by trying to shoot them with some kind of gattling gun, but Sonic and Tails are too fast for it. They take cover behind an abandoned bus while Black-Eggman calls for them to come out of hiding. Sonic says to Tails they don't have time to be bothered with the robot and asks which way is Eggmanland. Tails checks the navigation device and points toward a highway stretching into the distance. Before taking off, Sonic and Tails taunt Black-Eggman. [While Tails delivers a typically Japanese manga/anime taunt by sticking his tongue out at Black-Eggman and pulling down the lower eyelid of one eye -- don't ask me what the significance of that is -- Sonic settles for a more American approach and simply flips him the bird. Thinking that the robot is too tall to chase them down the highway overpass while running upright], Sonic yells out to Black-Eggman that the robot is too slow to keep up with them. But Black-Eggman then deploys giant bat-like wings, revs up a pair of turbo-boosters, and Sonic and Tails are off with Black- Eggman in pursuit. Black-Eggman tries to grab Tails but Sonic snatches him out of the bot's reach. Then Black-Eggman launches several missiles which destroy a bridge directly ahead of Sonic and Tails. They stop at the last possible moment before falling off and into the water below. The two of them are exhausted and the soles of Sonic's sneakers are red hot and smoking from the friction of trying to stop. They look up to see Black-Eggman looming above them; he then shoots at them and the section of road on which they're standing gives way. Sonic and Tails, however, manage to grab on to a girder before falling in; hidden from Black-Eggman's sight, they make noises as if they've fallen into the water and are drowning. At first the strategem seems to work but as the two continue on Black-Eggman appears, says he's not THAT stupid, and starts firing some kind of sticky substance Sonic has never seen before. Tails is hit and ends up glued to a chain-link fence. Tails calls to Sonic for help, but Black-Eggman fires some more missiles in Sonic's direction and the hedgehog has to make a run for it. We see the missiles explode off in the distance. One explosion gets the attention of someone digging near the outskirts of the city some distance away: Knuckles, wearing an Australian-style hat. The robot approaches Tails, telling the fox that he will "finally kill him." Tails replies that Sonic will save him because he's faster than any missile. As if on cue, Sonic appears riding one of the missiles and guiding it straight toward Black-Eggman. He jumps off in time before the missile reaches its target, but the force of the blast knocks Sonic backwards and when the smoke clears he discovers he is standing in some of the glue and is stuck to the pavement. It starts to rain. Black-Eggman is damaged but still standing; he says that he's not so easily defeated and observes that without his speed Sonic is just an ordinary hedgehog. As he lumbers forward, the pavement cracks beneath him and some places (including the spot where Sonic is held fast) form craters that begin to fill with water. Tails tries to break free to rescue Sonic but he can't. Sonic is now in water up to his chin. Black-Eggman takes aim at Sonic but then Knuckles appears, hitting the robot with such force that it falls over backwards. Knuckles frees Tails, orders him to rescue Sonic, then goes back to fighting Black-Eggman. Tails' tails are still stuck together, so the fastest way he can reach Sonic is to grab a large piece of metal and use it as a surfboard to skim across the water on the highway's surface to where Sonic is still stuck. Black-Eggman starts firing at Knuckles, asking out loud who this new opponent could be. Knuckles manages to avoid being hit for a while; when he IS hit by the glue, he says something in Japanese that can only adequately be translated as "Aw, shit!" Black-Eggman siezes Knuckles. Meanwhile, Sonic is close to drowning as the water in the crater is now over his head and his sneakers are still held fast. Tails struggles to pull him free, calling to him: "Sonikku, ganbate!" ["Ganbate" is an imperative with overtones of "Persevere!"; in this case, the best translation would be "Hang on, Sonic!"] With one mighty heave, Tails frees Sonic who goes into Spin Attack and severs the hand of Black-Eggman that has Knuckles in its grasp. Black-Eggman tries to escape, saying "We'll meet again" but Sonic has other ideas. Using Tails and Knuckles as airborne boosters who each swing him crack-the-whip style to build up momentum, Sonic spin-dashes into Black-Eggman who explodes and falls into the water. Amid the debris that was Black-Eggman, a hatch opens and out come...Eggman and Sera. Eggman scolds Sonic and tells him someone even more dangerous is waiting for him in Eggmanland. Sera's reaction to this is to brain Eggman with a length of metal pipe and to warn him not to touch a hair on Sonic's head. Then she starts whining about being kidnapped, she observes that Eggman and Black-Eggman are one and the same, and wants to know what it all means. Sonic thanks Knuckles, who replies [for the benefit of the audience] that the two of them are long-time friends, that he just happened to be in the neighborhood, and that they can repay the favor at the next opportunity. Tails asks if Knuckles will continue searching for treasure; Knuckles confirms this, saying it's his "destiny." Just then the clouds part and they see that the sun is close to the horizon; Sonic and Tails realize that they don't have much time left to turn off the Egg-Generator. The ground begins to shake and lights start coming on all over Eggmanland in the distance. They form, in part, an outline of Dr. Eggman's face. Sonic speeds off toward Eggmanland followed by Tails, who calls back to Knuckles that he hopes they'll meet again. Knuckles then grants Tails' wish by following after the pair; he says he's worried about them because they're not as strong as HE is! Knuckles glides ahead, calling back to Sonic and Tails to hurry up because time is running out. Sonic calls for Knuckles to wait up: "Mateo, Nakurusu!" Tails flies into camera range, gives the viewers a thumbs-up and a wink, then follows the other two. END OF PART I