Karen woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of Lauren softly crying herself to sleep.  The thin wall that separated Lauren’s room from Karen’s allowed for very little privacy.  Hearing Lauren crying in the middle of the night was not unusual and Karen had no emotional energy left over from the previous day to sympathize with Lauren at that moment.  “She needs to just buckle up and grow up,” Karen thought.  “You don’t see me whimpering like a baby and after all if anyone has anything to cry about it’s me.”  “I am the one abandoned by everyone.”  “It seems like everyone I know has a husband but me.”  “I get real physical pain, like a knife in my gut, every time I see Neil and think about him being with Cindy.”  “I’m unable to provide for the basic needs of my children.”  “Am I doomed to be alone for the rest of my life?”  “God must hate me”, she concluded, thinking about all the ways God seemed to be punishing her for her past. 

              In the morning as Karen lumbered into the kitchen looking for a cup of coffee she saw that Lauren was already up and eating a slice of toast at the kitchen table.  Lauren’s eyes were bloodshot, she was sniffling as her head hung low.  Lauren didn’t say a word to her mother as she entered the kitchen.  Karen blurted out, “Let me guess, Dale broke up with you, right?  Lauren remained silent, but her head nodded ever so slightly, acknowledging the fact.  Karen stood with her hands on her hips shaking her head at Lauren, her demeanor showed hostility being absolutely unsympathetic toward Lauren’s whininess.  She let out an impatient sigh, rolled her eyes, and turned around to pursue her coffee again.  Softly came the words, “Mommy, I’m pregnant.”   Karen’s knees immediately weakened.  She could feel the warm air being sucked out of her lungs.   She braced herself against the counter with her back toward Lauren.  Karen feared turning around at what she might say knowing that her blood was beginning to boil with rage.  That moment was frozen for what seemed like forever.  Finally, Karen was able to compose herself enough to turn around, she knew what she was going to say, the words had been on her lips for some time, with daggers on her tongue she was about to say, “I’ll bet you didn’t even use a condom did you?”  When she looked into her daughter’s eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks, she thought, “She’s just a little girl.” Karen recognized herself in Lauren’s eyes, “I am this little girl.” She said to herself, “and I’m still this little girl, still crying.”  She remembered being a teenager and telling her parents those same words.  She remembered her father’s angry, attacking response.  Karen’s heart broke on the spot; she fell on her daughter shoulders and held her tightly as they sobbed with each other. As they sat holding one another Karen’s heart pleaded in prayer to God; “Lord, help me help my daughter not to make all my mistakes, help me!”

              After the tears ran like rivers, Lauren’ grip on her mother tightened, her lips touched Karen’s ear.  She whispered the fearful question looming in her heart, “Mommy, do you hate me?”  Karen reached up and gently brought Lauren’s chin face to face with her own, looking eye to eye, she responded, “How could I hate you?”  “You are my little girl, I love you with all my heart and nothing you could ever do could make me stop loving you!”  “Don’t you know that all I ever dream of is showing you how much I love you by making you happy?”  Lauren was silent for a time, as she searched her mother’s face for hope, as if she could borrow strength from her mother’s expression.  But then another unspoken fear voiced itself from Lauren’s heart, “God is punishing me, isn’t he?”  She helplessly acknowledged.  “No!” Karen quickly answered, “That’s not how God is!”  “God doesn’t hate you either and he would never cause bad things to happen to you to punish you.”  Suddenly, Karen knew what she was saying was true not only for Lauren but for herself as well.  Karen thought, “If I love my erring child this much, and would never punish her in a way to give her lasting harm.  Then I know God’s love is even greater than mine, and God loves me this much too!” 

       Karen’s insight caused her to experience a moment of personal revelation in her heart.  She had always heard that God loved her unconditionally, but her guilt kept her from truly believing it.  Suddenly she could understand unconditional love as she truly felt it for the first time.  She couldn’t feel it herself from God so God showed it to her through her own love for Lauren.  

Discussion Questions:

1.  Do you believe that God loves you unconditionally or do you have sins in your life that make you feel that God is keeping his love from you?

2.  Do you feel that there are significant people in your life that may not love you unconditionally because of things you have done in the past?

3.  What steps do you need to take in order to discover how much you are loved unconditionally?

4.  Have you ever spoken angry, hurtful, damaging words to your spouse or children in the moment of frustration?   

5.  If you have spoken angry words in frustration then what steps do you need to take in order to seek forgiveness and an understanding that your love for them is unconditional?

6.  How does your walk with Christ affect your ability to love others unconditionally?

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