Everywhere we look in today's society, we are bombarded with pop culture's interpretation of romantic love. In popular music today, romantic love is defined as what someone is capable of spending on you while you accept ill-treatment and massive disrespect. We are plagued with the idea that physical appearance and sexualization are acceptable norms. In the grocery store magazine racks, they have the XYZ's of what romance looks like in physical appearance, grandiose gestures, and frequency. The television airs commercials and shows depicting couples enamored with each other. There is an unending supply of individuals always saying the sweetest things, giving the expensive gifts, and planning the weekend getaways–all for our viewing privilege. Then, of course, we have social media where we see the glorious lives everyone else is living, with their perfect relationships, perfectly kept houses, and beautifully put together persons.
Let's just hope I'm not the first to tell you, “Things aren’t always what they appear to be.” The reality behind those facades is the same lie that Satan has been feeding humans since the fall of our first parents Adam & Eve. The romantic stories and scenes seem good to the eyes, fulfilling to the mind, and appear to bring happiness. However, these sugar-coated, superficial, self-indulgent relationship models will only bring about the same temporary euphoria that will end in devastation, brokenness, and a loss of the promise of forever. Those happy couples you see being portrayed as the ideal in pop culture usually become even more famous when the poison in their apple runs over and the curtain falls. While that perfectly put-together partner is attractive, showering you with gifts and constant attention may make you feel special, these are not the Wise Man's rock foundation to build upon.
As relationships grow and progress, certain things tend to follow in this downward progression, and unless the foundation of your relationship is built of rock, it will slowly begin to wash away like a sand castle built too close to shore. So ask yourself: is this a relationship that brings me closer to God and is it one my family will support? For some of you, this will mean your Church family.
So my younger self just laughed in my face, did a whole eye roll, and said very loudly, “Whatever”! I have been there and done that; our deepest selves understand that not listening to the people who have your best intentions at heart and fighting with them only leads to internal anguish. A relationship that God wants for you will not cause strife. Do you have enough in common to build a friendship that will allow you to operate as two individuals in one life together? Because
psychology has already proven that opposites do not attract long term. Is there shared positivity, consistency, and vulnerability?
For every one negative thing said to each other, you will need to have five positives to set it right. So if you are not building each other up, sharing consistency that builds trust and dependability, and seeing each other as a safe space to share your inner selves, then that is quicksand. Why do I say that? Well, there is not much romantic about being elbow-deep in dirty diapers, agreeing to tighten the budget to make ends meet, or sacrificing your wants for the needs of your partner. Sometimes life gets real! Sometimes the very person you thought you wanted to build with will be the one person you are going to have to pray for the strength to be around.
A relationship that can stand the test of time has to be built on a rock foundation. First and foremost that means if you are both actively putting a connection with God first and building a character to humbly serve like Jesus, then you are on the right path. You are going to have to choose to daily pray together and for each other. Sister White explains this best, “Where Real Union is the Work of Years!” “Romantic Imagination Disappears- As life with its burden of perplexity and care meets.” So, while pop culture ideals may lead to temporary excitement and initial infatuation, the fizzle and luster will fade. So when you seek true romantic love, seek it with the guidance of your Creator who gave the interpretation of True Love in 1 Corinthians 13.
The Student Movement is the official student newspaper of Andrews University. Opinions expressed in the Student Movement are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, Andrews University or the Seventh-day Adventist church.