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Helping a Friend In Distress

University students often experience a great amount of stress during the course of their academic experiences. While most students cope successfully with the challenges these years bring, some students find the various pressures of life unmanageable or unbearable. As faculty members, teaching assistants, staff, or friends, you may encounter distressed students. Many of these distressed students have not sought counseling and may be unaware of the services available to them. Your role could be a positive and crucial one in identifying students who are in distress and assisting them to find the resources available to help themselves. The following guidelines may be useful.

Common Signs of Distress
The following signs may indicate a need to refer a student to the Counseling & Testing Center:

Abrupt/radical changes in behavior
Isolation from others
Feeling blue for more than a short period of time
Poor class attendance
Inappropriate crying
Paranoid state
Drug & alcohol abuse
Chronic fatigue/low energy
Uncontrollable or sudden outbursts of anger
Attention/memory difficulties
Irritability or restlessness
Threatening bodily injury or harm to others
Mood or behavior change following a traumatic change in a relationship, such a divorce or death
Statements reflecting a sense of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness
Suicidal thoughts or feelings

A student may also be referred to the Counseling & Testing Center for information on various issues such as the following:

Social/personal concerns
Career choices/selecting a major
Substance use
Sexual assault
Relationship concerns
Racial/cultural adjustment
Extreme test anxiety

Suggested Guidelines For Interaction

Talk to the student in private
Listen carefully
Show concern and interest
Repeat back the essence of what the student has told you
Avoid criticizing or sounding judgmental
Suggest the Counseling & Testing Center as a resource and discuss this with the student
Explain to the student that counseling at the Counseling & Testing Center is confidential
If the student wishes, you may accompany him/her to the Counseling & Testing Center
If the student resists help and you are still worried, contact your residence hall dean or the Counseling & Testing Center to discuss your concerns
If the student is suicidal, contact your residence hall staff or call the Counseling & Testing Center. If this occurs after hours, please call the numbers listed in the emergency section above.

Some suggested ways to recommend counseling are:
"You seem very upset; perhaps it might be helpful to speak to someone. There are counselors available to students at the Counseling & Testing Center."
"Counseling is helpful for people who feel the way you do. If you would like, you may use my telephone right now to call the Counseling & Testing Center to find out how you make an appointment. If you would like, I'd be glad to walk over with you now to find out about speaking with a counselor."
"You don't have to continue feeling so depressed (anxious, isolated, stressed out, angry, etc). Counseling can help. Why don't you walk to (or call) the Counseling & Testing Center (located in Bell Hall #123) and make an appointment to speak with a counselor?"

Feel free to use, amend, or expand on any of the recommendations above. Except in emergencies, the most important thing is to present your concern in such a way as to enable the student to freely accept, consider, or refuse your recommendation.
Some people need time in order to think over the decision to seek counseling. A caring and gentle suggestion is usually enough. If a student says emphatically no, then it is important to respect and accept that decision and to perhaps leave the door open for alternative consideration.

IN AN EMERGENCY SITUATION, it is important to be sure that the student is safe and will receive help. In such instances, you can call the Counseling & Testing Center at 471-3470 directly for consultation on how to best handle the situation. After office hours, refer to the emergency numbers listed above.

CONSULTATION WITH CENTER STAFF: ASK FOR A COUNSELOR
We welcome your calls at any time to consult with us regarding your concerns about your students. Often as a team, faculty/staff & Counseling Center staff are able to find a way to provide assistance to the student without making them a client.

If a particular student you have been interacting with in the above scenario (guidelines) resists help and/or you are still worried, you may wish to contact the Counseling & Testing Center to discuss your concerns.

MAKING A REFERRAL TO THE COUNSELING CENTER

Suggest that the student call or come in to the Counseling Center to make an appointment. Give the Counseling & Testing Center phone number and location. You may also suggest that the students visit the Counseling & Testing Center website (www.andrews.edu/ctcenter).
If you wish to be certain the student makes an appointment, call the receptionist at the Counseling & Testing Center while the student is in your office*. (*Note: due to client confidentiality laws, we cannot inform you as to whether or not a student has made or kept an appointment without the student's written permission.) Write down the appointment information, time, date, counselor, and location for the student.
Sometimes it is helpful for you to accompany the student to the Counseling & Testing Center. Some students may find it comforting for you to wait while they meet with a counselor.
If you consider the situation to be an emergency, dial 911 or any of the emergency numbers listed above before contacting the Counseling & Testing Center. Do not delay getting help for the student's and your safety.
Follow-up with the student by inquiring as to whether he/she kept his/her appointment and how he/she felt about the session.
If you are concerned about a student, but are uncertain of the appropriateness of the referral, or the student resists a referral, feel free to call the Counseling & Testing Center for a consultation.

PSYCHOTHERAPY-WHAT IS IT?
There are still people who picture therapy as a process that occurs between a Sybil-like client and a Freud-like therapist. However, little modern psychotherapy fits that old stereotype. Instead, Counseling and Testing Center therapists help people establish goals and work toward achieving those goals. We work with normal people who
are struggling with a variety of personal, family, or social issues. We see individuals, couples, families, and groups.

Therapy is often a process of self-examination facilitated by a psychotherapist for the purpose of creating change in the mood, attitudes, behavior, or feelings that have prevented the client from enjoying life and realizing his/her potential. The three most frequent reasons people come to therapy are:

Crisis resolution--regarding the loss of a relationship, death in the family, stress overload, loneliness, psychosomatic problems, coping with changes, family crisis, etc.
Seeking relief from chronic problems like depression, parent/child or child/parent problems, unhappy relationships, eating disorders, drug abuse, the pressures of work or classes, anger, or self-defeating behavior
For personal growth by increasing self-confidence, improving self-esteem, enriching personal relationships, and enhancing self-understanding

Every year 3% of the population of the United States is involved in psychotherapy and over 28% have had such help in the past. Most people who seek therapy are not "crazy." Instead they are quite normal people who want to do something about their problems. Since EVERYONE has significant problems at various points in life, psychotherapy can be viewed as a normal part of the process of moving through various significant phases of life.