This week I sat down with Rachel Rajarathinam (senior, nursing), SASA President, to discuss the new “Matchmaking by SASA” event coming up this weekend.
Could you start by explaining the details of the event?
The event is called “Matchmaking by SASA.” It's a South Asian twist on a Western dating game! It’s a bit like a blind-date scenario. Our club sent out a Google Form to all the SASA club members and published its link via our Instagram bio, inviting people to participate in this event. The form asks people about themselves, what they’re like, and what they might like in another person. Based on the results and answers of these forms, we will pair people up with their blind date.
This process is like the practice of marriage arrangements in South Asian cultures. Often, a family member organizes this same process, but some matchmakers do this “partnering” as an actual job! They have “databases” for different single people––maybe a picture of them, their career, what their family does for work, where they work––and then they consider what people would make a good match through marriage. Usually, this would also involve meeting the two partners’ parents, but we won’t get parents involved in our event.
For our event, we are mimicking what might be considered the “good concepts” for arranging couples. Many negative aspects are built into the matchmaking practice in South Asian cultures, primarily due to the presiding caste system. No one on the SASA team supports this societal hierarchy.
What was your inspiration for this event?
My main inspiration is my grandparents on my dad's side, who got married through an arranged marriage. My grandma's older brother was the one who arranged for the two of them to be married. Fortunately for them, it ended up being a good marriage.
They did go to elementary school together, but they were never close friends. In India (where my family is from), it isn’t typical for girls and guys to be close, like platonic friends in America. Even before they got married, my grandparents didn’t have the chance to know each other. They were matched because my grandpa was a pastor, my grandmother’s brother was also a pastor, and even my great grandfather was a pastor! This fact made my family feel comfortable with the match.
I can’t deny that there have been problems with their marriage or suggest that if they hadn’t been matched, they still would have gotten married. At the same time, I think there is something beautiful about their marriage. They each respected marriage so much that they were willing to work through their differences to make a life together. I realize that their situation is one of the “lucky” ones. Some arranged marriages result in abusive relationships that I believe should never be forced to continue. But when a connection is good and healthy, you still must make a choice every day to love your partner. Whether your marriage is arranged or unarranged, you still must choose to love. My grandparents had so much faith in God and their family to choose the right person for them. They had so much confidence in themselves to make their union work. To me, it’s a beautiful concept, and they did so much with their marriage! They raised two kids and even became grandparents.
Could you provide some details on how the event will go on February 27?
Since the club officers will have created the couples before this date, participants won’t know who they have been matched with till the actual event. They’ll show up and be paired––just like that! For the whole event, we have a series of games that the couples will play together. They will have points awarded to them throughout the night based on whether they win a game (or will maybe be given partial credit just to make them feel good). We’ll start with “icebreaker” type games which will allow couples to talk and figure out why we paired them together, what similarities they share, etc. In this case, the fastest couple to figure out their key similarities would earn some points. Either way, the couple that ends with the most points by the end of the night will win a gift card to India Garden––a great restaurant in Mishawaka!
Are people welcome to attend the event even if they are not participating?
Of course! People can totally come and watch. The event is in the University Towers rec center, so since it is a smaller space, we are capping the number of participants at twenty, with ten couples participating. We’re going to have snacks, drinks, and other refreshments, so people can come and just hang out and watch the games. And who knows, maybe you can find someone for yourself while hanging out on the sidelines!
Is the event open to all Andrews University students or just club members?
It’s open to everyone! The original email with the form was sent out only to members of SASA (since we only have our members’ emails). Still, we have also advertised it in our Instagram bio, hoping that others would see and be able to sign up. The event is definitely not closed off to only South Asians or club members.
Are people still able to sign up currently?
Absolutely! Although the spots are almost full. There’s also no official cutoff date for signing up since we want to fill all 20 spots, but we will most likely close the form the Friday before the event (February 25).
Is this an event that SASA has done before?
This is a new event that I thought of last summer. As I mentioned earlier, I was inspired by my grandparents’ marriage, and I thought this would be an exciting opportunity to show individuals a side to arrangements and matchmaking that many people don’t know about. Amidst the cultures which have normalized it, I believe there are positive sides to this practice.
What do you hope attendees will get from this event?
For this event, it will be up to the couples to decide whether they want to spend time together in the future. We certainly won’t force them to do anything they don’t want to do. However, if you want the gift card to India Garden, you will have to cooperate and succeed!
I have been made fun of in the past for being part of a culture that utilizes this practice. However, I think many don’t realize that it appears in America. For example, when people use dating websites or applications, they trust a computer algorithm to find their best match.
The racism, sexism, and utilization of the caste system are negative aspects of this process, and no one in SASA supports these aspects in any regard. But I think experiencing a cultural practice helps us to realize that other cultures are not as foreign as they seem.
Just a reminder, this “Matchmaking by SASA” event is on February 27 from 6-8 pm in the University Towers rec center (the basement). Hope to see you there!
The Student Movement is the official student newspaper of Andrews University. Opinions expressed in the Student Movement are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, Andrews University or the Seventh-day Adventist church.