After all the divorce announcements of the season 2 Pod Squad, the world looked a little bleak. Does true love exist? Is anyone going to be happily married? Is love blurry? Are Cameron and Lauren the exception? But when we thought all was lost, Love is Blind season 3 proved us wrong. It is time to once again flex our critiquing skills as we delve into the world of engagement in Dallas, Texas. Warning: Spoilers abound.
If anyone is still holding out on watching the show, here’s how it works. A group of young professionals who are looking to be married sign up to experience a type of social experiment to see if people can fall in love without ever seeing each other. Men and women are kept in separate wings and can only meet in the pods, a room that has a wall separating the couple. You first have to propose to the unseen match before you can meet them in person, after which you are whisked off to a resort to see if you two can develop a physical connection before testing their relationship in their everyday lives. You then have three weeks to see if you are completely compatible before going in front of the altar, surrendering yourself to the mercy of your partner’s decision. It’s a whirlwind experience for both the couples and the viewers.
One key theme in this season is the amount of gaslighting and toxic masculinity that overflows into the relationships between the engaged and the other couples. One such pairing is between Bartise and Nancy. She is an established speech pathologist and real estate investor who has been living debt free, while Bartise has just graduated from college with student loan debt. You can tell that he feels financially inferior to her, and that bothers him. He also constantly brings up the fact that Nancy, a shorter and tanner woman, is not very physically attractive to him, as his usual type is tall, blonde and athletic. Right up until the latest episode, Bartise is trying his very hardest to make Nancy out to be the villain in the relationship by bringing up her view on abortion (a pro-choice queen) in front of his anti-abortion family and “catching her in the act” of talking to a man who also proposed to her, despite her defending Bartise and her decision to marry him. He has been using all of this as an excuse to withhold physical affection, further making Nancy look like the needy one in the relationship. Gaslighting often occurs when one partner attempts to make the other partner feel as though they are in the wrong, even when the problems extend deeper. Clearly, his male ego can’t take her sureness and financial independence, which is a no in my book. But to make matters worse, he chooses to make her look like the problem.
Another example is the love triangle between Cole, Colleen, and Matt. Cole, who is engaged to a lovely Pakistani American, Zanab, has eyes for Colleen, a typical blue-eyed blonde. He talks about how, in the real world, he would not have gone for Zanab, but Colleen, which causes Zanab to lose confidence in herself. Cole keeps telling her it’s not a big deal, but it really is. Cole and Colleen even have a conversation about it at the pool, which starts causing tension in Colleen’s relationship with Matt (her fiance), a walking nervous breakdown about to happen. Having been cheated on before, he’s quite cautious and is ready to give up so many times on their relationship. Colleen tries to downplay the whole “pool scene”, even though everyone, including the viewers, can’t deny that Cole and Colleen might be a little too into each other for two engaged people. The emotional fallout is deeply damaging to the confidence of their aforementioned partners, Zanab and Matt. Infidelity, even while emotional, is always a problem.
One thing that the audience can learn from this season is that love doesn’t have to be blind to all things. Nancy keeps telling herself Bartise is the right person because she loves him, despite all the times he’s gaslighted her and thrown her under the bus and Zanab can overlook Cole’s emotional infidelity, in spite of how it makes her feel, because she “loves him”. People should not just settle for someone just because they claim to love them, because love isn’t always enough to save a relationship. Both these women need to leave ASAP and find someone who appreciates everything that they are and the values they stand for.
This season and even the previous season causes me to question the efficacy of this so-called social experiment. More and more of the people seem to be coming on the show because they want fame, rather than because they want to get married in an unconventional manner (which is the whole point of the show). Also, the fact remains that people can say whatever they want while in the safety of the pods, because people have no way of knowing if the other person is lying. Lastly, it is a reality show like any other, meaning there are storylines to follow, people to root for, and others to strongly dislike. The amount of changed opinions from “After the Altar” segments really show the problem with editing and leaving out potentially important information that can show red flags from the “heroes.”
The first seven episodes are available to watch on Netflix and the next three will drop on November 2. Get your golden goblets and squinty eyes ready for all the drama and shenanigans.
The Student Movement is the official student newspaper of Andrews University. Opinions expressed in the Student Movement are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, Andrews University or the Seventh-day Adventist church.