The world has faced gruesome pandemics and epidemics in the past, such as the Black Death, the flu pandemic, the HIV/AIDs crisis, the EBOLA virus, and most recently, the Covid-19 pandemic. As severe and history-shaping as these diseases may be, one epidemic may shape the course of human progression: the Sassy Man Epidemic. Indeed, society as a whole is suffering as more and more men continue to exhibit sassy characteristics. Numbers are rising for men who demand flowers and their partners to pay for the date. Shall we all take a moment to mourn the loss of our fellow brethren that have “popped off” more than the girlies? In all seriousness, what exactly is the “Sassy Man Epidemic”? Why has this become a trend, and is it a cause needing concern?
The Sassy Man Epidemic, also called the Sassy Man Apocalypse, was first discussed on X (formally known as Twitter) in August 2022 by user @yattadondadda, stating, “We in a sassy man apocalypse.” The “epidemic” resurfaced as a trend on TikTok over this past summer of 2023. The trend consisted of the women “victims” of the apocalypse/epidemic posting about their male partners behaving more sassy than themselves. In the colloquial sense, “sassy” is not exactly defined but is referred to as more of a vibe; it is a verb attached to a more traditionally feminine, dramatic, and over-the-top behavior. An example of a post would be by TikTok user @nc.rosie: the Tiktok is posted with the caption, “he always on his period *eye-roll emoji*” and the video opens to the text “the moment I realized I was a victim of the sassy man apocalypse”; the clip that follows is the supposed boyfriend giving “side-eyes” and a disgusted stare towards the girlfriend while the girl laughs and tries to give him a kiss for forgiveness. The trend phrase truly took off because of the user @444pray Prayag Mishra. Prayag Mishra has become the face of sassy men on TikTok and has charmed his audience “with his expressive mannerisms, quippy attitude and playful dancing over the past three weeks.” Previously, “sassy” has been used as a derogatory and homophobic term used for men who seemed too effeminate and expressive with attitude. When being referred to as “sassy,” Mishra accepted the term positively. He addressed a comment calling him sassy, and replied, “God wanted me to be loud and sassy. What can I say? What can I say? What can I sayyy?” in a now viral audio and dancing motion. It is up to an indivCharissse Lapueblaidual to decide whether sassiness is a positive or negative term.
Should feminine men be mocked to discourage their behavior? What does it mean to behave “like a man”? Sociologist Dr. Zuleyka Zevallos explains one way of understanding the concept of gender, stating:
“Gender is more fluid – it may or may not depend upon biological traits. More specifically, it is a concept that describes how societies determine and manage sex categories; the cultural meanings attached to men and women’s roles; and how individuals understand their identities including, but not limited to, being a man, woman, transgender, intersex, gender queer and other gender positions. Gender involves social norms, attitudes and activities that society deems more appropriate for one sex over another. Gender is also determined by what an individual feels and does.”
Dr. Zevallos’ explanation is one of many ways to view or understand gender, which may or may not differ from one’s own understanding. The sociology of gender studies how the definition of gender fluctuates in different societies and cultures, understanding how the perception of masculinity and femininity changes over time. With the rise of social media and a more open-minded generation, the definition of gender has become more diverse and open-ended. In previous generations, the term “sassy” would most likely be perceived as a grave insult, due to American’s extremely negative perception of the queer community and intense gender stereotypes. According to the United Nations Human Rights website, they define gender stereotypes as “a generalized view or preconception about attributes or characteristics, or the roles that are or ought to be possessed by, or performed by, women and men.” Typical gender stereotypes depict men as rigid and emotionless, blunt and uncaring. A “real man” would not be caught dead acting frivolous. The rigidity of these stereotypes has become flexible as time has passed. I personally believe that, with the rise of social media, so many different personality types interacting online have led to the definition of “normal” slowly becoming erased. Those who would have previously been referred to as “different” and have changed themselves to fit in can now find a community online and be encouraged to grow as they are.
Seeing as this is an article for a Seventh-day Adventist university, what does the Bible and Ellen G. White say about masculinity? Let’s take a look at a couple of quotes!
“To Be Temperate Is to Be Manly—The only way in which any can be secure against the power of intemperance, is to abstain wholly from wine, beer, and strong drinks. We must teach our children that in order to be manly they must let these things alone. God has shown us what constitutes true manliness. It is he that overcometh who will be honored, and whose name will not be blotted out of the book of life.—Christian Temperance and Bible Hygiene, 37.”
“My brother, your words that are harsh and unsympathizing cut and wound. It is very easy for you to censure and find fault, but this is only productive of unhappiness. You would quickly resent the words you address to others, were they spoken to you. You have looked upon it as a weakness to be kind, tender, and sympathetic, and have thought it beneath your dignity to speak tenderly, gently, and lovingly to your wife. Here you mistake in what true manliness and dignity consist. The disposition to leave deeds of kindness undone is a manifest weakness and defect in your character. That which you would look upon as weakness, God regards as true Christian courtesy, that should be exercised by every Christian; for this was the spirit which Christ manifested.”
Philippians 4:8 (ESV) “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
To be honest, I researched in hopes of finding some quotes with clear definitions of manhood. I thought I would find men being urged to be tough and stern, the typical “Grrr, I’m an Alpha man!” type of behavior. What I found is that men are only urged to be a good person. Being a man is not exactly defined by exact characteristics or personality traits, but instead by how one treats others as a child of God. I then argue that regardless if one is “manly” or “sassy,” they can still exhibit what God defines as being a man through how they treat others.
I find the Sassy Man Epidemic as a sign that toxic masculinity affects both women's and men's perceptions of gender. Men are becoming more comfortable exhibiting “feminine” behaviors, and are thus being labeled as “sassy,” whether they are a queer or heterosexual/cisgender man. If men are uncomfortable with sassy men, they are stuck in the “tough man” perception of masculinity; if women are uncomfortable, they may be so hung up on their perception of “real men” that it discourages men from expressing themselves in fear of being perceived as “too feminine to be attractive.” At the end of the day, the Sassy Man Epidemic is a silly trend for giggles. It’s for man-daters to laugh at the irony of men doing exactly what they complain about their over-dramatic girlfriends. It is not that serious pookie, as many “sassy men” would say. Being sassy can either be positive or negative and is reliant on the individual to interpret. So, are you going to vaccinate for the Sassy Man Epidemic?
The Student Movement is the official student newspaper of Andrews University. Opinions expressed in the Student Movement are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, Andrews University or the Seventh-day Adventist church.