Seminary Town Hall Forum Series on Race 2

A Student's Perspective

Quickly scanning my gallery view, I noticed that there were seminary professors and fellow seminarians in attendance.  It was in that moment I could not help but notice out of the 30 plus individuals in attendance there were only a handful of my white counterparts. Nevertheless, Dr. Teresa Reeve and Dr. Sedlacek provided context and went over the agenda for the forum. We were at a tipping point because the past few months had been filled with uncertainty and anxiety. Everyone was facing individual and collective battles in protecting themselves and their loved ones from the COVID-19 virus. However, there was one incident in the news stories about an injustice in our society that overshadowed it all, the murder of George Floyd. As the conversation began to take shape I slipped further away as I reflected on the murder of George Floyd and questions filled my mind. I started to feel the palpitations of my heart grow stronger and felt shortness of breath while sweat tried to ease its way down my clenched fist. I began to drift even further away as more questions invaded my mind: how does one accurately define suffering when language misses the mark?

I was quickly snapped back into reality as I heard a familiar voice share similar feelings. I resonated deeply with feeling trapped by all the social unrest in the news but also in my own life.  Although, words failed to express the extent of my pain, listening to fellow seminarians share somehow gave me the courage to speak. As I was given a chance to speak, I chose to avoid cheap cliches and eloquent speech and spoke from the heart. I shared with the group that I was still processing and have not been able to fully reflect. I listed the names of Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Oscar Grant, Eric Gardner, Kenneth Chamberlain, John Crawford, Philando Castile, Brianna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and George Floyd. It was in that moment that I realized the question that was staring me in my face every morning: how do I protect my unborn child from the world he would soon enter?

The first forum ended with participants emotionally spent from sharing and listening to one another’s expression of grief, pain, and hope. Due to the obvious need, a second forum was held virtually on July 14, 2020 at 12pm. There is a particular segment from this second forum on race that is important to highlight. If people in our Andrews University Seminary community hear nothing else, this is what I want them to hear. To hear someone that expresses your worldview and looks like me but is a professor share the wrongs and ills that they experienced in the seminary just broke our hearts. I watched as another professor showed compassion in the most altruistic form and just begin to cry as his heart was breaking for his friend. It was then that I came to realize that tears do not discriminate based on color, ethnicity, gender, doctrine, creed, or belief but seeks, rather, to reach the heart. Just for a moment we held space where we were seen, heard, and valued. Although some had to relive traumatizing experiences to help some of our colleagues in understanding the pathos of the black experience, the cognitive shift was beginning which one could observe from the head nods followed by the phrase “Thank you for sharing!”.

It has been difficult, to be honest, but I have not lost--and will not lose--my hope. Yes, I am tired of having courageous conversations BUT what holds me up is this simple truth found Lamentations 3:24, “The Lord is my portion, says my soul." The issue is a strained one; nevertheless, we need to move forward. I believe there is going to be a continued resistance; however, I am more hopeful for future change in the world because it is happening in our Seminary.