Do you really think that when you graduate, they’ll stop? Even if you move to a completely different state, country, continent even, you’ll always make this type of friend because…well, that’s just who you are (me too though so it’s okay).
Here are five simple steps on how to kick that friend to the curb.
Do something that you love.
Do you like basketball? Find a court near where you live and go (this could be one of your workouts for the week, but view this as a social rather than a physical outing). Love painting? Sign up for a class. Love watching and rating shows or movies? Find a group that is already established and meet with them. Just make sure you’re going at least once a week so that you can look forward to something once you’re done and have people to hold you accountable.
Master something.
Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but you were too scared to do or never had the time? Or is there something that you’re just plain not good at? For me, I’m really good at baking except for the world’s easiest dessert: chocolate chip cookies. I can never quite get them right, so I would try to master making these cookies. Next, I would be intentional about getting better at my mother tongue, Spanish. While doing all this, maybe sign up for martial arts class. It doesn’t have to be grand and it definitely doesn’t have to be something you have to pay for. In 2022, you can learn most things on YouTube, so take advantage of that.
Get off social media.
Social media has its pros but it definitely has its cons. It is so easy to click onto any one of your apps in between every waking moment that you’re not occupied by something else i.e. in between classes, when you’re driving (oops), in the bathroom (you better be washing your hands), and in those moments when you told yourself you’d just scroll for a couple of minutes and realize it’s been seventy-two. We get caught up in what other people are doing, wishing we could be somewhere else, or doing something else. Or maybe you’re so bored you’re on Twitter taking the time to read all the comments under a controversial tweet debating if you’re going to say something or not. Maybe you don’t do either of those things and you’re just on TikTok for the entertainment, but regardless, at the end of the week you get that notification showing your screen time and it’s not a number you’d want to tell your parents.
Get off! Stop wasting your life away on an app. You like reading uplifting messages? Get a book that tells you the same thing and goes deeper. You want to laugh? Go to a comedy club. You want to just do something while not actually doing anything? Get a mat out and do some yoga. You want to see what your friends are up to? Call them.
Get involved.
Find something you are passionate about and invest your time, effort, and money into it. It could be as simple as being passionate about supporting small businesses near you, to wanting the communities around you to be able to drink clean water. Whatever your passion is, make yourself available to those already doing the work or start something yourself. It doesn’t have to be full time either. Usually places that are already established are more than happy with any time you can give.
Get help and talk to God about it.
If what you’re going through can’t be solved by any of the above methods, go to counseling. Most importantly, let God know how you’re feeling. He knows what you’re going through and what will help and restore you.
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7.
“You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble;
You surround me with songs of deliverance.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go;
I will counsel you with My eye upon you.” Psalms 32:7-8.
“Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7.
Were you expecting something different? If you were, it’s probably because you thought we were talking about a real person, silly goose. Well, we were actually talking about our mutual old friend, Loneliness. Since I let you in on that secret, go ahead and look back at those five steps. Now that we’ve cleared that up, there is one more thing I should tell you: it’s okay to be lonely. It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. Instead of seeing it as something negative or that it is a lack of something in your life, view it as a checkpoint. Meet it where you are, assess, make a change, and then move on.
The Student Movement is the official student newspaper of Andrews University. Opinions expressed in the Student Movement are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, Andrews University or the Seventh-day Adventist church.