The Proverbs 31 woman is a classic and timeless example used by Christians worldwide as a guide for “The Wife of Noble Character.” It outlines what many Christians view as the “ideal woman.” However, when many people imagine her, I’m sure very few envision meeting her by swiping right on her profile.
In this digital era we live in, it seems as though so much of our daily lives happens through a screen. But what happens when we trade real-life interactions, such as meeting potential companions, for online ones? Whether you see it as a task, responsibility or a nuisance, the world of dating is constantly being reshaped by the online world we now live in. In recent years, dating apps have grown in popularity, specifically among young adults between the ages of 18-29, with research from the Pew Research Group showing that about 50% of them reported having ever tried out dating apps. It is my personal opinion that many people feel that meeting a partner through a dating app can be superficial or shallow. However, a fair number of people still use these apps in the hope of finding meaningful, long-lasting relationships and even more so, many Christian singles who still hold onto the hope of finding that special someone online.
Dating in the Adventist world can be a very nuanced conversation. To get some more insight about how students on our campus feel toward dating apps, I spoke to a few of them about what their personal thoughts on dating apps are, and whether or not they have ever considered using one. Michelle Atuti (freshman, aviation) shared that she is very reluctant to use a dating app. “I honestly see them as inorganic and I deign to move such a vital and sensitive aspect of human interaction such as love to the internet because I hate what the internet has already done to us socially,” Atuti said. Similarly, Aaliyah Ngyou (senior, business) shared that she “would not use a dating app due to wanting to get to know someone face to face.”
Samuel Martin (senior, biochemistry) was asked if he wished the church discussed romantic relationships more with young people. He replied, “I feel like the church needs to have more conversations on how men and women should go about talking to each other and guiding them through the relationship process. Once conversations are started about how to start a relationship in a godly manner, then it can prevent other acts and activities that are not in line with the word.” Martin also shared how he feels as though the church stresses which practices were unacceptable, rather than focusing on which ones are, when saying, “They merely reference the Bible and explain the boundaries or rules and try to govern us on who to date. But the church never really gives us youth examples on how to talk to women or treat women in the church.”
In my opinion, the Adventist Church effectively promotes the importance of marriage and family life; however, it seems that there are fewer resources available to help young people prepare to navigate the world of dating. I think many Adventist youth would agree that they would benefit from partaking in more conversations in the church surrounding how to go about dating in today’s world. In the online world, apps such as TikTok, X (formerly known as Twitter) and Instagram are all full of constant debates and think pieces surrounding how young people should go about dating.
I truly believe that, whether we realize it or not, influences are always being created and applied. In the Adventist church, it is essential that we create more spaces for young people to have honest, open, and progressive dialogue about what it means to date as young Christians. My hope for the future is that the church can cultivate a culture that promotes young people to have godly, meaningful relationships by having conversations and resources for young people.
The Student Movement is the official student newspaper of Andrews University. Opinions expressed in the Student Movement are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, Andrews University or the Seventh-day Adventist church.