Brief Words from A Soon-to-be-Graduating Senior

It’s my last semester here at Andrews, and while I was going to wait a few months before being all sentimental and nostalgic, I realized that there’s no time like the present. So I give you a few bullet points of things I’ve learned over the past four years.

• If it’s your first time away from home in a long-term sense, your brain will begin to think about some experiences you had during your childhood, and you’ll spiral for a bit. This period will be rough and bumpy, but you’ll get through it because you have friends who will catch you when you stumble, and you’ll do the same for them. Ask for help, don’t struggle alone like I tried (and failed) to do.
• Your professors might be some of the most caring and loving people that you’ve ever known. These women have listened to me cry and bare my soul in their offices. They’ve bolstered and encouraged me even when I haven’t asked for their kind words, reminding me how valuable I am, not just as a student and scholar, but as an individual. I’ve consistently found myself in awe of their brilliance and depth of knowledge, and consider it the highest privilege to have been in their classrooms. Dr. Denslow (Marmee), Dr. Pittman, Dr. Corredera, Dr. Cave, and Dr. Hess, thank you a million times over. You have added to the beautiful mosaic of my identity, and I will carry pieces of each of you with me for the rest of my life. I hope to be like you when I grow up.
• Sometimes, the people you meet here who you thought would be an integral part of your life past undergrad don’t stick around. And guess what? It doesn’t matter in the end. The right people who are meant to remain in your life will do so, and they will see you in ways that those who left never could. Most importantly, you begin seeing yourself for the first time.
• I personally found that actively avoiding campus events and activities brought me so much peace. If being social is your thing, go have the best time ever, but for me, being in my dorm room with my jammies on, watching Dish podcast, and falling asleep by 10 p.m. is utter bliss.
• Prioritizing something that I like doing has helped me retain my mental sanity. I make sure to read for fun over the weekend, and I bake. I’ve made bread, cookies, brownies, bagels, etc., in the dorm because baking is a form of therapy and it’s something I enjoy sharing with other people.
• Comparing myself to the people around me only made me depressed because I was setting standards for myself that were impossible to reach. The constant thought process of “this person in my major is doing it so much better than I am”, “I wish I was more like them”, and all of the other comparisons that were conjured up by my funky brain made me feel like I was constantly falling short. And then I realized that comparisons don’t have limits. There will never be a time when I think to myself, “finally, I’m like this person.” It just doesn’t exist. The same thing goes for being “enough.” Well, what is enough? It’s a concept that’s always out of reach. I’m still learning to let “enough” be short-term. “I did laundry today, is it okay that that’s enough?” Yes. It most certainly is okay.
• Understanding that my faith is going to look a lot different as an adult than what I was taught as a child has brought me so much peace, especially as I’m continuing to grow in myself as a woman who is queer and a feminist.

There are many more mini-lessons that I can probably come up with if I sat here long enough, but these are probably the biggest and most important ones. Long story short, being at Andrews has taught me so much about myself and how I see the world around me. I’ve learned to ask questions and not accept given information at face value, especially when it comes to social issues, and that I am in fact more than capable of doing hard things (such as completing an Honors Thesis and presenting it at an undergraduate conference months later). Most of all, I’ve discovered that whatever life throws at me, I’ve got it in the bag, and that while I am definitely anxious for life post-grad, I will end up being just fine.